My spirit is bruised, but not broken...

Saturday, May 03, 2008

I begin today's blog with an ironic story. It may sound unbeliveable, but God (and Donia) as my witness, it indeed happened. Let me start out by saying that there are lots of intellects in Seattle. It is, in fact, one of the most literate cities in the country. That being said, there are also a lot of assholes. A lot. Guys who think they are soooooooooooo funny and soooooooooo clever and so very witty to their friends, and the girls they may be trying to impress. These guys are the worst kind. Give me a cute nerd reading Harry Potter and sipping a fat-free overpriced latte over these testoterone pumped, small penised, ugly-excuses for a potential mate to any self respecting girl any day. Ok, now that Ive painted you the picture of anger comes the irony: Its Friday night and Donia and I have decided to walk downtown and take in the scenes over a cup of coffee at the corner Starbucks. We are crossing the street on our way back to the bus when, wait, what's that? That wanna-be "thug" is yelling from his car at someone. Four-eyes? Did that grown man just yell four eyes? Before I could properly register what just happened, it hit me like a ton of bricks...I was four eyes! You see, at 2:30 pm on Friday, I picked up my brand new, first pair ever, glasses. So cute. Not just cute, but expensive, so you know theyve got to be stylish. I wear them for the next 8 hours, my eyes getting acclamated to them, and I am wearing them on our late night journey. And Im wearing them crossing the street. And Im the only one in sight wearing them when this car full of disgusting guys trolling for chicks yells out 'four eyes'. I look at Donia and ask, "was he yelling at me" and as I am speaking the words she is making gestures and pretending to laugh a pathetic, sarcastic laugh, yelling "wow, thats really clever and funny" at the douche-mobile. Thats my girl, always standing up for her asthmatic, freckeled, white skinned, and now four eyed, girlfriend. We, of course, laughed it off immediately for many reasons: 1. They are pathetic to think making fun of people still makes you cool at their age. They had to be 25+ at least. 2. No one past the age of 11 uses the term four eyes, precisely because no one past the age of 11 gets offended by the term 4 eyes. 3. As Donia is mocking them, none of them will look at us or acknowledge they did it, so now its also a pussy-mobile. 4. Everyone in Seattle wears glasses! People who dont need glasses pretend they need glasses just to fit in! People with good eyesight here are shunned and forced out by the intellects who do wear them! 5. WHAT ARE THE FUCKING CHANCES THAT, HOUR 8 OF HAVING GLASSES EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I WOULD BE CALLED THE OLDEST GLASSES-WEARING SLUR IN THE BOOK?! It was too unbelieveable to be, and Donia's quote was, "If I wasnt here right now, Id never believe this story if you told me". I dont think I believe it, and I was the victim! Hope those guys had a good night. We sure had a great time laughing at their pathetic Friday night activities. They probably went out later and knocked over some old ladies, kicked puppies, and peed in some Holy Water. Four eyes...puh-lease. Four eyes or two, Im still a better catch than anything theyll ever find. Especially with that attitude! *pushes glasses up on her nose* After that story, I think we need a day to reflect, and remember: before you go out making fun of others for your own enjoyment, God hates douchebags and douchebags go to HELL...