Pantsless and sad

Here's the question of the day: What would any self-respecting girl do to pamper herself for a hard week at the office while her girlfriend is out at Happy Hour with her friends? You guessed it---come home and walk around pantsless. Pantsless with a cozy couch, blanket, and a movie. Not just any movie, but a classic and #2 on my list of favs. Titanic. Ah, the nostalgic feelings it brings back of just graduating high school, casually dating Steve Magnanti, and experiencing the greatest love story of all time. *Not me and Steve...Rose and Jack* I hear the Titanic theme (not by Celine...I like the instrumental) and I get all flustered. Ive seen it at least ten times in the last 10 years. Kind of a lot for someone who doesnt really like watching movies over and over. But Leo. Uh, my unhealthy obsession with Leo lives on. Anyway, I got through almost the whole movie without crying, maybe just a couple tears here and there (or, say, every half hour). Then Donia arrives home with 10 minutes to go. Jack is dying (oh come on! If I just ruined the movie for you, too bad! Youve had 10 years to see it!), Rose is never letting go, and Im enjoying every moment as if it were the first time Ive experienced the grief that is Titanic. There is no sweet exchange between us of "how are you/ How was your day". Its simply:

Donia: "Hi!"

Leah: *hand in Donias face, eyes fixed on TV* "Not now, Im invested"

Of course, wouldntcha know, I keep the tears at bay almost the whole movie, and then bam! She returns home and the ending hits me like a ton of bricks! Rose going home to the Lord and her sweet Jack and her fellow Titanic victims, passing away so softly in her sleep. Im now almost sobbing. Donia tries to speak to me and I embarassingly choke on my words. So much for the tough girl facade...



That was yesterday, as was the repeat of Oprah's show on Puppy Mills (which I didnt see at its original airing). This added more tears to the night when at the very end of the hour (we were strong throughout), we both couldnt hold back the tears when they showed the man who had to choose which dog got executed daily. 40 A DAY he had to kill! And this is just one shelter, in one town, in one state! There are so many dogs who need homes that we kill 4 million animals a year that have nowhere to go! Yet, everyone who wants puppies goes to pet shops, and they partake in buying from puppy mills that abuse, neglect, and downright torture animals to make money! 10,000 puppy mills with hundreds of dogs being mistreated. It doesnt add up. Forget the idea of a cute little puppy, you can find them in shelters if you really look around and really must have one. DONT GO TO PET SHOPS! I felt at that moment that I wanted a house and a yard just to take in dogs. Of course, when I wake up today I know that I am not an animal lover, and though I would never want to see animals hurt, I would never be the person to take in the animals either. If I have to be honest here, its just not my calling. Some people have it and others dont. I love my dogs, but my passion isnt dogs. So, anyone who does feel it really should be rewarded for the work they do. It sucks that sometimes know what your calling IS NOT before you know what your calling is...thats where Im at.



That rounded out last night, and then we come to today for happiness and sunshine...brought on by the idea that SEX AND THE CITY premieres today! I had this fantastic idea that Id walk downtown and buy tickets EARLY for the show, just IN CASE it sold out. Yeah, haha...joke's on me. As of Thursday night, yes, an entire 24 hours before it opened, all of Seattle had bought tickets in advance and every show from 5 pm to 11 pm was sold out! So now i have to wait until tonight...LATE tonight...to see it! I could have seen it late Thursday (technically Friday) at midnight, but alas, my rockstar days are over. I was in bed by 10...

Gus just vomited next to me. As I type, he threw up inches from my leg. Well, yes I just stood him up and shook him and pretended he was dancing in a club, and yes I spun him around while Donia played a tune on the guitar, but gosh! How was I to know he had a belly ache! Bad mommy=abuse case in the making.

This blog is, so far, boring and empty. Better luck next month I guess...

I dont even wanna unveil it yet.

Im having a dry writing spell

Although Im always pretty lame in my opinion. Lame is the new "cool".

Lovely June, hours from us. Kinda. Summer is here:)

A new place to call home

So I have started this new blog here on bloggers.com. It just seems more official to me, and now people without Myspace can read along two (Ive had to inquiries, but that was enought to warrant a brand new site). My dilemma is this: do I copy and paste all my old blogs from Myspace into the archives here (as I originally wanted to), or do I start anew with this blog and leave the old stuff to my Myspace life? I feel that if I leave them behind they will be forgotten. Those are some times I like to look back on (some are alcohol induced ramblings, others depict traumatic events ("the injury")). Right now Im leaning toward dragging all my baggage over here, just as I dragged it to Seattle, and all over the State of RI. You cant just forget things or let them go. You can grow from them, but you can never erase the tiny hash marks they leave on your life.

Welcome to the new grown up blog. And by grown up I dont mean Ill be writing intelligent posts. Theyll still be useless and boring and have as much impact as a feather off a building. Theyll pass the time, though, and for some, thats all you can ask for...

Oh yes, and P.S.
Please excuse the HUGE ASS FUCKING PICTURES located at the bottom of my blog. I thought theyd be tastefully done and moderately sized. I was wrong. Blogger.com is obnoxious. Ill prob take them down soon.

Ill have a grande ass and muffins to go...

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Today's ramblings will include depressing topics, happy topics, controversial topics, and most importantly BITCHES IN STARBUCKS! Why is it that you feel the entitlement to go into Starbucks, buy your coffee and super-fattening muffin, and then plop your deliriously smug ass at a table that SEATS 6 when you are only a party of 1? Where in your brain does it say, "This is a good idea". I go in with a party of 3, meanwhile, and we are forced to practically sit on top of each other around a table the size of a half dollar. Well, you know me, always out to make someone feel bad about themselves---I make it a point to loudly say to my friend, "Come here, you can probably squeeze in at this little table with us". I was sure the woman was within earshot. Low and behold, who gets up 2 minutes later, packing her magazine and blackberry and the rest of her crap into her tote? Thats right, lady-who-needs-five-extra-seats-to-be-comfy. Now, I know what youre thinking, maybe it was the last table? Well, it wasnt, but even if it HAD BEEN, my God, sit at the end, out of the way, sending off a signal saying, "Im just tucked in this corner cuz its the last table. Join me at the table if you would like. I dont bite and I realize this whole table isnt for me. That would be SILLY!" Or, do what she did and take up the whole goddamn thing, leaving 3 grown women to cram themselves where they shouldnt have to cram, and giving them no choice but to try and publicly embarass you. I was peeing today (oh come on now, I have to!), and I look down and whats this? Theres nothing more depressing than seeing a notch you had to make in your belt cuz it was just too big when you got it, and realizing youd no longer be able to use that notch if you tried... Had another dream me, DJ, Olivia and my mom were kidnapped. Another one! So I was thinking that Id start a campaign..."Friends Dont Let Friends Continue To Live In RI". Seeing as Im living here for now, Id like to convince all my close friends to move out here to BEAUTIFUL SEATTLE! Where theres music, coffee, and happy hour! Sure its illegal to text while you drive, but texting kills anyway! I figure if I ask everyone, my return rate should be at least 3%. So 3 out of 100 people will move here. I have less than half that many people to ask. So at that rate, in 5 years, maybe one of you will at least visit... Wait, hold it right there...I am getting visitors! Bailey and Meghan will be out in August, as well as Diehl, and possibly a visit from Jess! Guess the Lord heard my prayers after all... A big debate going on around here lately has to do with cappucchino and pasties. No, I didnt say pastRies, I said p-a-s-t-i-e-s. As in, what strippers call "shirts". Yeah, so theres these coffee shops (really tiny, only drive-thrus actually) called (cleverly enough) Hot Chick-a-latte, and Cowgirls Coffee, among others. They hire hot girls to wear bikinis or, even sometimes, pasties, and serve coffee to people. *Im guessing men on their morning commutes.* Anyway, some woman was up in arms on the news saying its bad for children, blah blah blah. She is scheduling a protest...and a clothing drive! In a very diplomatic and mature manner, the scantily-clad bathing beauty stated on the news, "Sure, they can send all the clothing they want over here. Were going to donate it to our local charity..." HA! Bikinis-1, insecure soccer mom-0. My feeling? Yes, its not the best for kids. SO DONT TAKE YOUR KIDS THERE! If you are unaware of which establishments practice this and you need a caffeine fix while the tots are in the car, dont pull around and call the girl a "heathen" (true story). Simply ask your questions, grab your coffee, go home, and explain to the kids that adults do things that children cant do yet. My God, free speech, free expression. If the business owner thinks this will make money and the girls willingly participate, then mind your own beeswax and take your business elsewhere. I have a feeling this woman isnt concerned for the "poor innocent children". Your "poor innocnet children" can pull up porn on your computer anyday. Shes upset because when she doesnt know, her husband and his buddies are drinking more coffee than any human should and flirting with the nice baristas on work time. Insecurity's a bitch, bitch. You dont like it, get to the gym. Those girls did, and they earned what they have. Or you could just put out more and then maybe your husband wouldnt be so hopped up on the idea of a half naked girl burning her you-know-what on steaming espresso. Ok, I have to get Donia from work and as it is, oopsie, Im late! Talk amongst yourselves, and Id love to know your views on the coffee shop thing. What if it were coming to a Dunkin Donuts near you?!

I guess I should be packin all the time...

Thursday, May 15, 2008

No, not a gat. My camera! I just went 10 miles East to a treatment agency outside of Seattle and OH MY GOD its beautiful outside today! Its almost 80, sunny, just breezy enought to be comfy, and I am in the best mood of May 08. I have no one to share this with because Donia is still at work! I wanna just run out into the street and find someone who doesnt look too sketchy and ask them if theyd like to take a drive to the park. I just saw the most beautiful green trees and mountain ranges off in the distance. I dont even know what range it is-could be Mt. Shithead for all I care-it was gorgeous! Everyone bragged about "summer in Seattle", which I know isnt here yet, but if this is a preview, then Im HOOKED! They said it was "muggy". Muggy? Oh, you poor poor Seattlites. Come with me, Ill show you muggy. Ill show you I-have-never-missed-winter-so-much-i-just-may-commit-suicide-today hot back in RI. Fuck muggy, this is perfection... So, as I again love Gus because pee-pee pad 2 seems to be working, I put his food in his bowl and went to change in my room. I come back to find him out on the deck, nibbling at three bites of food he carried out there. Apparently his plan was to grab a few and run back and forth with them becasue his poor lil chihuahua self couldnt decide what he wanted more--FOOD OR SUN! Chihuahuas are sun-gods, they live for it. I had to laugh at how cute his puppy conundrum was (after the giggle, mommy moved his food bowl outside for him). Though we have a laptop, we dont have wireless internet, so I am sitting inside doing this, as opposed to out on the deck on my old skool lawn chair. You know the one---I got it from KMart a week ago and its the kind you can lay down in, or sit up, or have your feet up. Its like a craftmatic adjustible bed for the yard. Yep, 12 bucks and Im golden. Donia refused saying the chair was "weird". f weird, its perfect! Yeah you may stick to the strange plastic weave its made of, but i can get myself in 30 different positions to reach maximumu sun capacity. With my SPF 60, of course. Ok, gotta get out there with the dogs. For once Gus, that little fucker, has the right idea...

only for the L Word fans...

Saturday, May 10, 2008

So like, Jen and Deanna? This is funny shit, and Jen, this interviewer reminds me of you at the end. Its her humor. And her use of the word V-hole. No one else will get this if you dont know the show, so you may as well go back to what you were doing...and oops i posted it twice, but its the same vid. its my first time with vids, sorry...

The problem with memories and feminism...

Sunday, May 04, 2008

I have encountered a problem today and I dont know how to fix it. Donia has decided (as Jen G. did a looong time ago) to list the movies that I havent seen, that I apparently should have seen, as a child/teen in the 80's/early 90's. Nice gesture, yes, but herein lies my struggle: she doesnt realize (as I didnt, before this little experiment began) that the reason these movies are so "good" is because when she saw them 15-20 years ago, they were age and generation appropriate! Now, I dont know, I sit here and suffer through Goonies this morning, her with a big reminiscent grin on her face, me wondering what the hell Im watching! When she saw this at the age of 12, it was a fantastic kid adventure movie. Now, never having seen it at the age of almost...well, nevermind my age...all it is is a kiddie adventure movie! I dont have those feelings flooding back to me from when I first saw it as kid, having a crush on the main character, watching in wonderment as the story unfolded. I hear cheesy jokes and see bad fashion and cant help but think, "this would NEVER happen" at every turn of events! I do these things to make her happy, but now having seen 16 candles (couldnt stay with it), The Breakfast Club, Goonies, Dirty Dancing (ok), The Outsiders (not toooo bad), Stand By Me (maybe the best one), Lost Boys (come on youve got to be kidding me!), and Point Break (worst acting Ive ever seen!), I am done. No more, please! Indiana Jones bored me a month ago when we attempted to watch the trilogy (didnt even finish one) and now she has rented the Back to the Future trilogy! I know what youre saying, "but these are classics!" Yeah, classics, unless you missed the WINDOW in which they become classics in your head. I call it the "80's cheesy movie window" (80's-cmw for, well, kinda short). There is just no way Ill ever find most of these movies endearing at this point in life. I missed it. Remember seeing "Cant Hardly Wait" or "Clueless"? These to me are great cuz I was in high school and its about high school and you were in a time when it made sense for your adolescent brain. If I played those movies now for my mom, she'd think they were silly. She cant feel what I felt! So it is with Donia and her great movie viewing idea...little does she know, Im aborting the mission... Ive got her library password, Ill cancel all the holds she has on the movies, and ill tell her they were reported lost or stolen. Yep, ALLLL the copies they had. Sorry...(but not really). Sometimes Ive gotta protect my sanity over making her happy by sitting thru another coming-of-age tale circa 1984. And now my second problem. The other day Im next to this motor cycle rider. These three guys cross the street in front of us, and I see them checking this person out. I then realize that this is a woman. They are hooting and hollering at her, thinking she's so hot for riding a bike. So I start to wonder: where do we draw the line between wanting to be able to "do what the boys do" without a spectacle and still wanting to be noticed for being strong women stepping outside the gender-assigned box? (hold your jokes). I would like to say "Come on! Arent we at a place where it can be deemed normal for a girl to ride a motorcycle?" But then again, if everything is equal, if we do everything the boys do, then we are not holding on to our femininity either. If I can walk into a poker room and sit down at a table and no one notice Im a girl among 90% guys, then I lose that advantage, that attraction that I gain, which puts them at a disadvantage (some of the time. the dumb ones. and most are). So the feminist in me wants to preach "Hey! I can play poker and pool and ride a bike and pick up my own furniture to move it and dont need a guy to point out that these things are so manly!". Then again, the girl in me wants to say "Its still cool for some things to be noticed when a girl does them, but not all things! You dont have to point out you were just beat by a girl on the pool table or that a girl just got promoted over you." Having high-paying jobs or prestigious positions or being president or living on her own or being able to take care of herself are not out-of-the-ordinary, or at least they shouldnt be for women. Its hard for me to decipher whether we want to be women forever, or equals. Keep our femininity or give up most of the gender roles in exchange for the same rights men get all the time. We dont want to be men, and we dont wanna be "women performing roles of men" . I guess wejust wanna be cute and capable and strong humna beings running cirlces around the opposite sex in heels and a mini skirt...ok, thats what I want. I dont know what others want. Discuss amongst yourselves (but not in the presence of men, they get so cranky sometimes! Must be that time of...well...their whole lives?) Questions, comments, or concerns may be sent to my Myspace Inbox. Rants and Raves on how I like to burn my bra and need to get a grip on reality, please send them to your own inbox, and promptly erase them.

My spirit is bruised, but not broken...

Saturday, May 03, 2008

I begin today's blog with an ironic story. It may sound unbeliveable, but God (and Donia) as my witness, it indeed happened. Let me start out by saying that there are lots of intellects in Seattle. It is, in fact, one of the most literate cities in the country. That being said, there are also a lot of assholes. A lot. Guys who think they are soooooooooooo funny and soooooooooo clever and so very witty to their friends, and the girls they may be trying to impress. These guys are the worst kind. Give me a cute nerd reading Harry Potter and sipping a fat-free overpriced latte over these testoterone pumped, small penised, ugly-excuses for a potential mate to any self respecting girl any day. Ok, now that Ive painted you the picture of anger comes the irony: Its Friday night and Donia and I have decided to walk downtown and take in the scenes over a cup of coffee at the corner Starbucks. We are crossing the street on our way back to the bus when, wait, what's that? That wanna-be "thug" is yelling from his car at someone. Four-eyes? Did that grown man just yell four eyes? Before I could properly register what just happened, it hit me like a ton of bricks...I was four eyes! You see, at 2:30 pm on Friday, I picked up my brand new, first pair ever, glasses. So cute. Not just cute, but expensive, so you know theyve got to be stylish. I wear them for the next 8 hours, my eyes getting acclamated to them, and I am wearing them on our late night journey. And Im wearing them crossing the street. And Im the only one in sight wearing them when this car full of disgusting guys trolling for chicks yells out 'four eyes'. I look at Donia and ask, "was he yelling at me" and as I am speaking the words she is making gestures and pretending to laugh a pathetic, sarcastic laugh, yelling "wow, thats really clever and funny" at the douche-mobile. Thats my girl, always standing up for her asthmatic, freckeled, white skinned, and now four eyed, girlfriend. We, of course, laughed it off immediately for many reasons: 1. They are pathetic to think making fun of people still makes you cool at their age. They had to be 25+ at least. 2. No one past the age of 11 uses the term four eyes, precisely because no one past the age of 11 gets offended by the term 4 eyes. 3. As Donia is mocking them, none of them will look at us or acknowledge they did it, so now its also a pussy-mobile. 4. Everyone in Seattle wears glasses! People who dont need glasses pretend they need glasses just to fit in! People with good eyesight here are shunned and forced out by the intellects who do wear them! 5. WHAT ARE THE FUCKING CHANCES THAT, HOUR 8 OF HAVING GLASSES EVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I WOULD BE CALLED THE OLDEST GLASSES-WEARING SLUR IN THE BOOK?! It was too unbelieveable to be, and Donia's quote was, "If I wasnt here right now, Id never believe this story if you told me". I dont think I believe it, and I was the victim! Hope those guys had a good night. We sure had a great time laughing at their pathetic Friday night activities. They probably went out later and knocked over some old ladies, kicked puppies, and peed in some Holy Water. Four eyes...puh-lease. Four eyes or two, Im still a better catch than anything theyll ever find. Especially with that attitude! *pushes glasses up on her nose* After that story, I think we need a day to reflect, and remember: before you go out making fun of others for your own enjoyment, God hates douchebags and douchebags go to HELL...