Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Apparently thats all you smart asses do! I got more answers on how to spell "segway" (correct spelling "segue") than anything Ive ever written! Jackasses, get a life. And thanks
*Shoutout to DJ* Thanks for what seemed to begin as a really encouraging and flattering comment. Suck it! to you for stealing my THUNDER and writing so wittily and cleverly under MY blog! Keep your talents on your own page. but keep commenting...luv ya
Working is hard. Not the work, the getting up. Im so exhausted! My tasks once I get there are non-existent, but its just weird to have the whole purpose of your day to change. Like, my idea of a "successful" day before would be if I shaved my legs, or even took a shower for that matter! I mean seriously, I actually have to put a bra on now and it sucks! Otherwise work is fine. Lets see, today at the new job we...did nothing, went for a walk, read a page or two, did nothing, talked about personal lives, went for a walk, had lunch, went over 5 forms, went for a walk, I moved my monitor 6 inches, rearranged my stapler and tape dispenser, pushed my chair in, and went home. Somewhere in all that i peed 4 times (more coffee breaks today!). Then I walked in the windstorm of the century and Donia said, hours after shed first seen me, "Why's your face so red?" I got windburn, thats why!!!! 15 blocks uphill! It feels like a sunburn but the only way I can tell its the wind is becasue my hair is out of control! I look like a little kid that just played outside all day.
This blog was just a tease cuz Ive got nothin tonight. Seriously, noth-ing. Wheel of Fortune is on and I need my pjs. Leah: 27 going on 80.
I wish I had more. I wish exciting things happened. I wish I could say that I was walking downtown when an old lady asked me ever so gently to walk her across the street, to which I oblige, and as were halfway to our destination a man wearing a ski mask and fabulous shoes runs up and grabs her oversized wicker purse and just as shes screaming "thief!" I push her the rest of the way across the road and someone catches her safely and I take off running after the masked man and I jump on his back and poke his eyes and he falls forward and I grab the purse and kick him in the stomach just as a group of surly teens come over and give him the rest of what he deserves and then everyone claps and I run back down the block to Ethel who is awaiting with tears in her eyes and she says she wants to reward me and then she reaches into her purse to pull out what i anticipate will be at least a $20 bill for my troubles and she emerges with a butterscotch hard candy and places it in my palm and closes my fingers around it with a cute little old lady smile and I PUNCH her in the kisser because that bitch is cheap and I grab her bag and take off running in the opposite direction of the applauding crowd. I guess I just have nothing to say today...
Watch A.I.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Monday, January 28, 2008
Make 'em an offer he cant refuse...
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wow, long time no write. As a I apologized for earlier, there was no writing yesterday, and for one good reason. 1st of all, Sunday I read the entire Sunday paper, so that took a while (yes! I read!). Then Donia and I embarked on a journey back to 1946 with none other than Marlon Brando as...The Godfather! Ive never seen it, but what a fucking cool movie! We watched 1 (the best) and are now on 2. Hope to stay up late and see 3 also tonight. (Partly cuz its great; partly cuz its 4 days late to be back to the library). Never before have I wanted to be Italian and kill people for a living so badly...
Today was day 1 of my new job and let me just tell you...GREAT! So laid back, such nice (all 2) people. Some crazy homeless bums hang out outside the office and smoke, but hey, I got a job! A soon as the funds start rolling in, we'll have a celebration (you can join us via internet if youd like. Oh, wait. Not you. Nope, you either. Just you guys. Yeah, and I guess you).
Speaking of celebrations (great segway between paragraphs today, huh? Oh yeah, can someone see how to spell segway for me...), this Saturday night was once a month club night here in Seattle (for us anyway) and boy was it a hoot! *note: no one says hoot anymore. Please do not mimic my use of it. You will be laughed at* We walked to this club 4 blocks away and played some pool to start off the night. We were doing okay at first (which means I beat Donia), but then we got some tough opponents. "Inez" (I may or may not have changed the name to protect the innocent. And by innocent I mean me. "Inez" was a large woman, and should she ever come upon this blog, she may want to hurt me) was a fantastic player. That means, The Bitch Beat Me. 2 out of 3. Shit! Its the only talent I have, besides spinning a basketball on my finger for 30 seconds straight. (well, I want to do that. I have never actually done it. So its not a talent, technically. I guess. Moving on...). Donia did the old too-drunk-too-quick thing that all Junior High status drinkers go thru, so she sat for a while and watched. Or napped, Im not sure, I wasnt keeping an eye on her. When Id noticed her slumped over, I just propped her back up. Anyway, I was into it, dancin around by myself, feelin the rhythm, when what is this? Shes semi-conscious for a sec! In my excitement, I decided to be silly and dance an old 80's number I know called "The running man", and could you guess what happened next...
Ill give you a moment...
Got it yet?
I ROLLED MY ANKLE!
Just a slight roll this time, no big deal now, but boy was it a big deal then. I stopped dancing, limped over to the bench, and joined drunken Donia. It hurt. I was scared. There was no dramatic "fall and swoop recovery" this time, thank God, but i thought id done damage. I walked it off, and we left soon after. Well, that walk home was no picnic. Uphill. Tipsy. 4 blocks. All the while making sure the drunk monkey with me didnt fall into the street. Yikes. I iced her up (the ankle, not Donia) and elevated for a while when we finally got home. The next day I was fine. Thank you Lord. If it happens again, Im just requesting a damn amputation.
This leads to a flashback Id like to post of the original ankle injury. Oh how easily I forget that dancing in bars, even on flat shes and by myself, can lead to such harm. Enjoy (again)...
**********************************************************
What I Did On My Summer Vacation... Current mood: indescribable
So, you know how I'm into go-go dancing, right?
Picture it: Saturday night, the outfits are hot, the drinks are flowing, the shoes are cute and so are the boys...
Wait, no no no, thats not it at all...
So we are going out for my friend Jara's birthday, good times with friends. Of course theres the art of pregaming, so we end up at Dirty Drunk Diehl's Dirty Drinking Palace and start the night off right. (Actually, he's wasted and none of us catch a buzz between his obnoxious antics and the lack of good liquor (tattoo = no good)). We finally decide where to go, get into the cars and buckle in for safety (of course) when taco bell arrives. As Diehl is smashing a surprise burrito into his jib (thats for you), we are calling 411 and trying to get directions to the lezzy bar the birthday girl has chosen (not that theres anything wrong with that). We arrive after a lovely conversation with the bouncer over the phone, pay the cheap ass cover and are all excited for a good night. Beverages are a-flowin and the music is a-pumpin. Lets see, from there there were a couple bathroom breaks, a couple shots, a couple drinks, and a couple smoke sessions out on the lenai (and yes, it was a lenai, as in GG, spitting image, uncanny). And then it goes to, well, shit. The convo was light, the ladies were wild, and the boys were prettier than Hef's 8 girlfriends. Im struttin my stuff, very Im-here-to-have-fun but not too Im-here-for-some-lady-lovin, when I start feelin the music. There I am, mindin my own business, bringing Sexyback, when low and behold, I find a stage. I must be up there, my little mind thinks, and there I go, in all my straight-girl-in-a-lesbian-bar-glory, dancin the night away.
Flash forward 18 seconds. Im on the floor. In the middle of the dance floor. In the middle of the bar. In the middles of the lezzies. Whats a self-respecting girl to do? I proceed to laugh, cutely giggling, attempting to crawl back onstage and continue my run, when, whats this? I have lost all use of my right ankle? In my scared and buzzed state I panic, and I break down. Thats right, I wanted to stay tough for my girl-loving girls, but I broke...I cried. All of a sudden a flock of lesbians come running and whisk me off the floor. It was like a scene from a B movie starring Jennifer Tilly and a no name girl trying to "find herself" through cunnilingus. Anyway, Im thrown into the getaway car weeping like a child fresh from the womb. I insist I am fine and well enought to move on to the next hot spot, but I am coerced by my friend Jess to visit the local hospital. I agree, and by agree I mean I cannot stop crying.
We are at the hospitral for 4 and a half hours. During this time we run into some lovely characters, like the nurses that steered us in the wrong direction and got us lost, followed by the spunky yet smart ass male nurse. Yes, I said male nurse, who thought his quick wit and mildly disrespectful remarks about how wasted I was might get him a date, if not with the pretty friend, then with the passed out, swollen, snot-covered, hysterically injured one. Once it was determined that I was not a shitty drunk mess, I was fed and Vicodin (fuck diamonds being a girls best friend) and was sent off to a farawawy land I call LaLa...
Before I know Im cracking back at the asshole whos putting on my aircast (for injuries that arent really injuries) and being wheeled to my brothers car (he'd been hanging with Toby Keith when I called him, what a guy). I arrived at home after some hot flashes and antics in the car (the pill was on an empty stomach, mind you), but not before almost being rushed back to the hospital with some close calls on the stairs.
I woke up in pain, puking, hungry, and feeling defeated. Who knew an innocent night on the lesbain town with my best friends would turn into me being laid up on my first vacation week in a year. Sad story. I am now reduced to laying on the couch, taking in too much TV even for me, only eating when someone decides to drop by and feed me, hopping like a bunny from room to room, suffering from sore pits from my crutches, riding in Mart Carts through Target like a woman in her 80s with osteoperosis, and showering while sitting on a plastic Ikea end table from my bedroom.
Stop by if you want this week, you know where Ill be...
**********************************************************
It snowed. Im sorry, no, it dusted. Barely, if thats possible. It barely dusted and people were all up in arms here. They were afraid to drive. Afraid to walk. There were accidents galore. They asked me if I was scared. I replied with a sly smirk (as if to say wuss) "No, Im from New England". They got it.
You know youre in Seattle when: Youre forced into coffee with your new coworkers cuz you dont want to look like the new weird girl bitch, so you go and they say is starbucks ok and you say yes and you go and you dont know what to order or how to order and you feel dumb and youd do anyhting at that moment for a Tank from Tim Hortons with milk, no sugar, and its so easy to order and drink and enjoy but instead you are forced to get a double triple nonfat nonwhip noncalorie nongood cup of coffe that costs almost 4 dollars and is smaller than the shots you did on saturday night. All for a little comeraderie. I miss Rhody :(
Ok thats that. My godfather is calling me, and Ive seen what he does to people who dont obey him!!!!!!
*Disclaimer: Donia is not a drunk. Do not let this blog make you think she is a functioning alcoholic who cant have fun sober. We all have our nights*
Wow, long time no write. As a I apologized for earlier, there was no writing yesterday, and for one good reason. 1st of all, Sunday I read the entire Sunday paper, so that took a while (yes! I read!). Then Donia and I embarked on a journey back to 1946 with none other than Marlon Brando as...The Godfather! Ive never seen it, but what a fucking cool movie! We watched 1 (the best) and are now on 2. Hope to stay up late and see 3 also tonight. (Partly cuz its great; partly cuz its 4 days late to be back to the library). Never before have I wanted to be Italian and kill people for a living so badly...
Today was day 1 of my new job and let me just tell you...GREAT! So laid back, such nice (all 2) people. Some crazy homeless bums hang out outside the office and smoke, but hey, I got a job! A soon as the funds start rolling in, we'll have a celebration (you can join us via internet if youd like. Oh, wait. Not you. Nope, you either. Just you guys. Yeah, and I guess you).
Speaking of celebrations (great segway between paragraphs today, huh? Oh yeah, can someone see how to spell segway for me...), this Saturday night was once a month club night here in Seattle (for us anyway) and boy was it a hoot! *note: no one says hoot anymore. Please do not mimic my use of it. You will be laughed at* We walked to this club 4 blocks away and played some pool to start off the night. We were doing okay at first (which means I beat Donia), but then we got some tough opponents. "Inez" (I may or may not have changed the name to protect the innocent. And by innocent I mean me. "Inez" was a large woman, and should she ever come upon this blog, she may want to hurt me) was a fantastic player. That means, The Bitch Beat Me. 2 out of 3. Shit! Its the only talent I have, besides spinning a basketball on my finger for 30 seconds straight. (well, I want to do that. I have never actually done it. So its not a talent, technically. I guess. Moving on...). Donia did the old too-drunk-too-quick thing that all Junior High status drinkers go thru, so she sat for a while and watched. Or napped, Im not sure, I wasnt keeping an eye on her. When Id noticed her slumped over, I just propped her back up. Anyway, I was into it, dancin around by myself, feelin the rhythm, when what is this? Shes semi-conscious for a sec! In my excitement, I decided to be silly and dance an old 80's number I know called "The running man", and could you guess what happened next...
Ill give you a moment...
Got it yet?
I ROLLED MY ANKLE!
Just a slight roll this time, no big deal now, but boy was it a big deal then. I stopped dancing, limped over to the bench, and joined drunken Donia. It hurt. I was scared. There was no dramatic "fall and swoop recovery" this time, thank God, but i thought id done damage. I walked it off, and we left soon after. Well, that walk home was no picnic. Uphill. Tipsy. 4 blocks. All the while making sure the drunk monkey with me didnt fall into the street. Yikes. I iced her up (the ankle, not Donia) and elevated for a while when we finally got home. The next day I was fine. Thank you Lord. If it happens again, Im just requesting a damn amputation.
This leads to a flashback Id like to post of the original ankle injury. Oh how easily I forget that dancing in bars, even on flat shes and by myself, can lead to such harm. Enjoy (again)...
**********************************************************
What I Did On My Summer Vacation... Current mood: indescribable
So, you know how I'm into go-go dancing, right?
Picture it: Saturday night, the outfits are hot, the drinks are flowing, the shoes are cute and so are the boys...
Wait, no no no, thats not it at all...
So we are going out for my friend Jara's birthday, good times with friends. Of course theres the art of pregaming, so we end up at Dirty Drunk Diehl's Dirty Drinking Palace and start the night off right. (Actually, he's wasted and none of us catch a buzz between his obnoxious antics and the lack of good liquor (tattoo = no good)). We finally decide where to go, get into the cars and buckle in for safety (of course) when taco bell arrives. As Diehl is smashing a surprise burrito into his jib (thats for you), we are calling 411 and trying to get directions to the lezzy bar the birthday girl has chosen (not that theres anything wrong with that). We arrive after a lovely conversation with the bouncer over the phone, pay the cheap ass cover and are all excited for a good night. Beverages are a-flowin and the music is a-pumpin. Lets see, from there there were a couple bathroom breaks, a couple shots, a couple drinks, and a couple smoke sessions out on the lenai (and yes, it was a lenai, as in GG, spitting image, uncanny). And then it goes to, well, shit. The convo was light, the ladies were wild, and the boys were prettier than Hef's 8 girlfriends. Im struttin my stuff, very Im-here-to-have-fun but not too Im-here-for-some-lady-lovin, when I start feelin the music. There I am, mindin my own business, bringing Sexyback, when low and behold, I find a stage. I must be up there, my little mind thinks, and there I go, in all my straight-girl-in-a-lesbian-bar-glory, dancin the night away.
Flash forward 18 seconds. Im on the floor. In the middle of the dance floor. In the middle of the bar. In the middles of the lezzies. Whats a self-respecting girl to do? I proceed to laugh, cutely giggling, attempting to crawl back onstage and continue my run, when, whats this? I have lost all use of my right ankle? In my scared and buzzed state I panic, and I break down. Thats right, I wanted to stay tough for my girl-loving girls, but I broke...I cried. All of a sudden a flock of lesbians come running and whisk me off the floor. It was like a scene from a B movie starring Jennifer Tilly and a no name girl trying to "find herself" through cunnilingus. Anyway, Im thrown into the getaway car weeping like a child fresh from the womb. I insist I am fine and well enought to move on to the next hot spot, but I am coerced by my friend Jess to visit the local hospital. I agree, and by agree I mean I cannot stop crying.
We are at the hospitral for 4 and a half hours. During this time we run into some lovely characters, like the nurses that steered us in the wrong direction and got us lost, followed by the spunky yet smart ass male nurse. Yes, I said male nurse, who thought his quick wit and mildly disrespectful remarks about how wasted I was might get him a date, if not with the pretty friend, then with the passed out, swollen, snot-covered, hysterically injured one. Once it was determined that I was not a shitty drunk mess, I was fed and Vicodin (fuck diamonds being a girls best friend) and was sent off to a farawawy land I call LaLa...
Before I know Im cracking back at the asshole whos putting on my aircast (for injuries that arent really injuries) and being wheeled to my brothers car (he'd been hanging with Toby Keith when I called him, what a guy). I arrived at home after some hot flashes and antics in the car (the pill was on an empty stomach, mind you), but not before almost being rushed back to the hospital with some close calls on the stairs.
I woke up in pain, puking, hungry, and feeling defeated. Who knew an innocent night on the lesbain town with my best friends would turn into me being laid up on my first vacation week in a year. Sad story. I am now reduced to laying on the couch, taking in too much TV even for me, only eating when someone decides to drop by and feed me, hopping like a bunny from room to room, suffering from sore pits from my crutches, riding in Mart Carts through Target like a woman in her 80s with osteoperosis, and showering while sitting on a plastic Ikea end table from my bedroom.
Stop by if you want this week, you know where Ill be...
**********************************************************
It snowed. Im sorry, no, it dusted. Barely, if thats possible. It barely dusted and people were all up in arms here. They were afraid to drive. Afraid to walk. There were accidents galore. They asked me if I was scared. I replied with a sly smirk (as if to say wuss) "No, Im from New England". They got it.
You know youre in Seattle when: Youre forced into coffee with your new coworkers cuz you dont want to look like the new weird girl bitch, so you go and they say is starbucks ok and you say yes and you go and you dont know what to order or how to order and you feel dumb and youd do anyhting at that moment for a Tank from Tim Hortons with milk, no sugar, and its so easy to order and drink and enjoy but instead you are forced to get a double triple nonfat nonwhip noncalorie nongood cup of coffe that costs almost 4 dollars and is smaller than the shots you did on saturday night. All for a little comeraderie. I miss Rhody :(
Ok thats that. My godfather is calling me, and Ive seen what he does to people who dont obey him!!!!!!
*Disclaimer: Donia is not a drunk. Do not let this blog make you think she is a functioning alcoholic who cant have fun sober. We all have our nights*
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Dept. of Madness and Vengeance (DMV)
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Now, the moment we've all been waiting for (especially the citizens of Seattle)...{drum rolllllll}...I WASHED MY HAIR! And not because my aunt called me a grease ball or because Jade said it bordered on gross or even because my dogs would no longer lay with me on the couch. It was just time. Time to let go of the grease and frizz. It took about a full 45 seconds for my hair to actually get wet once it hit the shower. Apparently water and oil dont mix, so the water just rolled off for a while. I think i heard the sound of Heavenly angels when the shampoo hit my scalp. And, if I didnt know better, when that conditioner was applied, Id swear my head shed a tear...
Needless to say, the stupid curls are back.
Last night was night 2 that Nash created a shitshow of a walk. First fumble Nash made: even after being walked through 3 separate patches of fresh grass, Nash proceeded to stop mid-stride and SHIT on the sidewalk. Not expecting this idiotic behavior, I had nothing to pick it up with. Luckily it was late and we just took off down the next block, sight unseen.
People are just crazy about these dogs though. We got comments like "Oooh, attack dogs" from a man at the crosswalk, to which we fake laugh and say "Yeah"...like weve never heard that before. The next one came from a man...at a red light...who rolled down his window to yell out "Hey, I like your dog!" (Note he only said "dog", singular. Nash was cowering in a corner because of a scary scary sewer cap). The last was a bit scarier, coming from a comment I heard in passing by a frightening/gothic homeless kid who said "...it makes me want to blow my fucking brains out. I rather be THAT DOG right now". I did not reply with a witty remark on how Nash must be cooler than he is, mainly because I didnt know if he had a gun on him to back up that whole suicide threat.
Quote of the week:
"My eyebrows need to be done soooooo bad. They are about to run away and start a carpet store"
~Donia
My mind was wandering and I had a random thought. If I got my eye shot out while playing paintball becasue I failed to wear my safety glasses, I would opt for the glass eye, of course. But the glass eye doesnt move naturally, so instead of freaking people out, I feel like I would want an eye patch. Not just a run-of-the-mill Captain Jack Sparrow pirate patch, but a skin colored patch. Why dont people wear these?! So much more inconspicuous than the black patch we see so often. I cant possibly be the first to think of this. (Sadly, though, I may be...)
So today has been a loooong day. Reason being? A little thing called the Washington Dept. of Licensing. How long did we sit there, you ask? 3 hours. 3 long smelly boring multicultural multilingual multitorturous hours. During this time we went to lunch and the bank and still had tons of time to sit there and wait. Just wait. Luckily, the last hour flew by because a bunch of people had jumped ship and lost patience, leaving their numbers on the floor and us in their dust. Dust we were very happy to be left in, for it let us get or WA licenses much quicker! Donia needed it for her car, I needed it for my new job. Her woman was really speedy, to the point, and pleasant. My guy was long haired, snaggle toothed, and had an obsession with discussing RI with me. ("You guys have Cianci. You guys have Family Guy. Did you see the episode where...?"). I finally broke away from the Rhody Trivia freak and made my way to the picture line. They let you smile if you want to, and when the pic is done they say "Please verify address and see if you like the picture". A choice!! I was excited! Til I realized, of course, that if I went to the screen and hated it Id have to say "WOW, Im uggggg-ly, can we run that back?" Also, I knew if I tried it over again once, having this power in my hands, Id do a full half hour photo shoot, critiquing everything! Therefore, when you see my geek pic, dont laugh, I just held my breath and said "Ok" to the first one. Fun fact though: I wore my Favre jersey in the pic. Til at least 2012 I will be reppin the Pack!
Then brought Walmart. Super Walmart. Nuff said...
Needless to say, tonight was a late blog. Get used to it, fans and readers (all 4 of you left), I will be writing at night starting Monday because of the job. If only someone paid me to blog...
Going out tonight. Gettin drunk because A.) its been a while B.) I wanna and C.) It does a body good. We are walking the 4 blocks so there will be no D+D for us. Hope to God I dont fall on my face, fall on my ass, twist my ankle, or tumble into the street. (Oh, come on now ma! Only one of those has ever happened! )
Happy Weekend. Drink, drink, and be merry!
Now, the moment we've all been waiting for (especially the citizens of Seattle)...{drum rolllllll}...I WASHED MY HAIR! And not because my aunt called me a grease ball or because Jade said it bordered on gross or even because my dogs would no longer lay with me on the couch. It was just time. Time to let go of the grease and frizz. It took about a full 45 seconds for my hair to actually get wet once it hit the shower. Apparently water and oil dont mix, so the water just rolled off for a while. I think i heard the sound of Heavenly angels when the shampoo hit my scalp. And, if I didnt know better, when that conditioner was applied, Id swear my head shed a tear...
Needless to say, the stupid curls are back.
Last night was night 2 that Nash created a shitshow of a walk. First fumble Nash made: even after being walked through 3 separate patches of fresh grass, Nash proceeded to stop mid-stride and SHIT on the sidewalk. Not expecting this idiotic behavior, I had nothing to pick it up with. Luckily it was late and we just took off down the next block, sight unseen.
People are just crazy about these dogs though. We got comments like "Oooh, attack dogs" from a man at the crosswalk, to which we fake laugh and say "Yeah"...like weve never heard that before. The next one came from a man...at a red light...who rolled down his window to yell out "Hey, I like your dog!" (Note he only said "dog", singular. Nash was cowering in a corner because of a scary scary sewer cap). The last was a bit scarier, coming from a comment I heard in passing by a frightening/gothic homeless kid who said "...it makes me want to blow my fucking brains out. I rather be THAT DOG right now". I did not reply with a witty remark on how Nash must be cooler than he is, mainly because I didnt know if he had a gun on him to back up that whole suicide threat.
Quote of the week:
"My eyebrows need to be done soooooo bad. They are about to run away and start a carpet store"
~Donia
My mind was wandering and I had a random thought. If I got my eye shot out while playing paintball becasue I failed to wear my safety glasses, I would opt for the glass eye, of course. But the glass eye doesnt move naturally, so instead of freaking people out, I feel like I would want an eye patch. Not just a run-of-the-mill Captain Jack Sparrow pirate patch, but a skin colored patch. Why dont people wear these?! So much more inconspicuous than the black patch we see so often. I cant possibly be the first to think of this. (Sadly, though, I may be...)
So today has been a loooong day. Reason being? A little thing called the Washington Dept. of Licensing. How long did we sit there, you ask? 3 hours. 3 long smelly boring multicultural multilingual multitorturous hours. During this time we went to lunch and the bank and still had tons of time to sit there and wait. Just wait. Luckily, the last hour flew by because a bunch of people had jumped ship and lost patience, leaving their numbers on the floor and us in their dust. Dust we were very happy to be left in, for it let us get or WA licenses much quicker! Donia needed it for her car, I needed it for my new job. Her woman was really speedy, to the point, and pleasant. My guy was long haired, snaggle toothed, and had an obsession with discussing RI with me. ("You guys have Cianci. You guys have Family Guy. Did you see the episode where...?"). I finally broke away from the Rhody Trivia freak and made my way to the picture line. They let you smile if you want to, and when the pic is done they say "Please verify address and see if you like the picture". A choice!! I was excited! Til I realized, of course, that if I went to the screen and hated it Id have to say "WOW, Im uggggg-ly, can we run that back?" Also, I knew if I tried it over again once, having this power in my hands, Id do a full half hour photo shoot, critiquing everything! Therefore, when you see my geek pic, dont laugh, I just held my breath and said "Ok" to the first one. Fun fact though: I wore my Favre jersey in the pic. Til at least 2012 I will be reppin the Pack!
Then brought Walmart. Super Walmart. Nuff said...
Needless to say, tonight was a late blog. Get used to it, fans and readers (all 4 of you left), I will be writing at night starting Monday because of the job. If only someone paid me to blog...
Going out tonight. Gettin drunk because A.) its been a while B.) I wanna and C.) It does a body good. We are walking the 4 blocks so there will be no D+D for us. Hope to God I dont fall on my face, fall on my ass, twist my ankle, or tumble into the street. (Oh, come on now ma! Only one of those has ever happened! )
Happy Weekend. Drink, drink, and be merry!
Friday, January 25, 2008
Empty bladder, write blog...
Friday, January 25, 2008
God, Im so NERVOUS today! I have been hearing a lot of hype about these blogs lately. Theyre talked about on the streets (of Coventry), around the water cooler (at the SHOP), and even in IM's (when I bring up the topic, of course)! I dont know how much material I can come up with every day for this. Im gonna start carrying a mini notebook and looking at things very differently from now on...all as possible funny material!
Take yesterday, for instance. All I did was watch TV, eat dinner, pee a bunch of times, and walk downtown. Supermarkets=not funny. Homeless people= not funny. That guy that hit a pothole with his bike and went flying off into the street=shouldnt be funny...BUT WAS! He was ok, some good samaritans jumped in to save him from oncoming cars. Whew. Oh, and I should report the bike was bent and unrideable, but still breathing.
So, as you can see, theres not much going on to talk about. This is why I am calling all the readers (yes,all half dozen of you) to send me topics that may be plagueing your mind. I can give my expertise, mediocre knowledge, or just witty and useless banter on the subjects. Obviously, I need help here. My writers are on strike and this is hard by myself!
Vegas was burning today, the Monte Carlo, that is. Just the roof, just a section, not so bad. Except for THE BRIDE they showed being evacuated...in her wedding dress! Poor dear. Must have been that moment when they say, "If anyone disagrees with this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your...FIRE!!!!" Some ex of the groom making sure she still has a chance to win him back. Nothing says love like a little lighter fluid and a book of matches from a strip joint.(and I know---from EXPERIENCE! )
I told my mom this already but Ill tell you. Some woman gets super-wasted, kills a man while driving, does a phone interview with a bigot reporter, he says awful things congratulating her on killing a "french man/gay guy", she giggles...and BAM! Cops hear her on the recorded message and slap an extra 10 years onto her sentence. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH...bitch.
*Now please stay tuned following this commercial break...*
LOST next Thursday. Not sure what time, prob 9, maybe 8. Check your local listings yourself.
Ok, were back with a dream I had. There were many, a church one, a work one, but this one involved me getting plastic surgery. On my feet. To make em smaller. Yeah, what a waste of surgery. Everyone was lookin at em like "oooh" and then one person commented "well theyre a tiny bit smaller, but not much". I would have kicked her, but the stitches still ached. Let me tell you, if i did have plastic surgery, it would not be on my FEET!
*Now a PSA (public service announcement, duh!)*
Make sure you vote this year. This really is a huge year for voters. Theyre saying one of the hugest elections in a loooooong time, since Abe Linc said no to slaves and FDR...well, Im not good with history. Anyway, I would like you to vote DEMOCRATIC, ah-em, but make your own choice (DEMOCRATIC). I really cant decide who Ill want if it comes down to Obama or Clinton. I will be watching intently, which you should do, too. You should talk about the candidates (but not more than you talk about my blog. And dont let anyone interrupt blog-talk with election talk, either. We have priorities, here). Our current president (whos a Republican, btw, not a DEMOCRAT) has f'ed this country up something good, and we need a fix. A fix of good old fashioned DEMOCRACY. Who better to bring that than a DEMOCRAT? Isnt it great we all have the freedom to vote as we please! (voteDEMOCRATorIdisownyouall).
**Brought to you by DEMOCRATS voting for DEMOCRATS and only DEMOCRATS.**
Hair update: Day 6 has brought a delightful "mohawk" to my head. I woke up, tried to tame my hair back down, and in doing so realized that this day brought the ability to move my hair and have it STAY where I put it! No styling products or hair spray needed! Not sure if thats a good thing, now that ive written it. Kinda sorry i did. Moving on...
So I mentioned i went walking downtown last night. We stopped at this little place called Cafe Septieme, which means something in some language, I dont really know. Anyway, it looked fancy, but they had dessert, so we were in! We were sat and looking for a dessert menu, but it was nowhere to be found on the dinner menu. When we asked our sweetie pie of a waiter if they had one he said, "Oh, no, you kinda have to just go stand at the display and look". Which means you might as well scream "Look, Im a fattie,and Im having dessert!" Torturous, but we complied. He followed us over (so sweet) and described every dessert. (He knows how to work a tip, let me tell you). We decided on our desserts and moments later were enjoying them, as, might I add, we enjoyed a glass of wine and a lovely musician playing some sort of synthesizer from the mid to late 80's. Yes, he played Flashdance, it was only fitting. I enjoyed it greatly, thinking back to the days when we'd steal Pappy's keyboard and play around with that, before the scary man, may he rest in peace, love you Pappy, yelled at us and ripped it away cuz of the "racket" (how do you spell racket when it refers to noise, anyway?) Donia, not so much enjoyment there. Didnt have keyboard days. Thought it was weird. "It sounds like drums and a horn. And he smells like pee." "Those are the special buttons!" I exclaimed (I, again, ignored the pee comment). Clearly, she gave me a strange look, and we moved onto the next topic. The waiter really was great, and had we had crew cuts and penises, he may even have hit on us! Wait, maybe he was straight, but just grossed out by my hair. Didnt think of that...So that was the highlight of the night, and i wont even tell you how much this late night dessert run cost us (good thing I got a job!). Thats how you can tell a city from a good ole hometown: in Rhody we would have run to Cumbys and grabbed a little Debbie. In Seattle, we walk 12 blocks and have to decide which bills not to pay that month just to get some cake.
Another fun thing in Seattle is the S.L.U.T. Whoa, hold on there, this is a family blog! No no, calm down, Im referring to what the stupidest "creative" executive board in the world has created in Seattle. A streetcar. Not a trolley, not a bus, not a Subway. A pretty shiny streetcar. Like a tram from Six Flags, but enclosed. What did they name this multimillion dollar project for all to see and ride? Thats right, the South Lake Union Tram. SLUT. Everyone calls it the SLUT here. Its a big joke. And the sad thing is I dont think it was meant to be a joke! They now want to build a walking area all around the SLUT. Know what theyve proposed for a name? Either South Lake Union Trail (baby SLUT) or Community Union North Trail. Ill leave that one for you to figure out. This is a family blog, after all. How did they not see that nickanme coming? Funny stat, though, wehn the SLUT was free, she had 78,000 riders in the first month. Now that you have to pay: 21,000 riders a month. See girls, anyone will ride a SLUT for free.
As I forge ahead into my weekend, and I know this blog is already some long, boring run-on sentence with the excitement of a postage stamp, I leave you with happiness and love and candy and munchkins (God i miss munchkins).
xo
P.S. In no way was I making fun of Pappy. We love him still. :)
God, Im so NERVOUS today! I have been hearing a lot of hype about these blogs lately. Theyre talked about on the streets (of Coventry), around the water cooler (at the SHOP), and even in IM's (when I bring up the topic, of course)! I dont know how much material I can come up with every day for this. Im gonna start carrying a mini notebook and looking at things very differently from now on...all as possible funny material!
Take yesterday, for instance. All I did was watch TV, eat dinner, pee a bunch of times, and walk downtown. Supermarkets=not funny. Homeless people= not funny. That guy that hit a pothole with his bike and went flying off into the street=shouldnt be funny...BUT WAS! He was ok, some good samaritans jumped in to save him from oncoming cars. Whew. Oh, and I should report the bike was bent and unrideable, but still breathing.
So, as you can see, theres not much going on to talk about. This is why I am calling all the readers (yes,all half dozen of you) to send me topics that may be plagueing your mind. I can give my expertise, mediocre knowledge, or just witty and useless banter on the subjects. Obviously, I need help here. My writers are on strike and this is hard by myself!
Vegas was burning today, the Monte Carlo, that is. Just the roof, just a section, not so bad. Except for THE BRIDE they showed being evacuated...in her wedding dress! Poor dear. Must have been that moment when they say, "If anyone disagrees with this marriage, speak now, or forever hold your...FIRE!!!!" Some ex of the groom making sure she still has a chance to win him back. Nothing says love like a little lighter fluid and a book of matches from a strip joint.(and I know---from EXPERIENCE! )
I told my mom this already but Ill tell you. Some woman gets super-wasted, kills a man while driving, does a phone interview with a bigot reporter, he says awful things congratulating her on killing a "french man/gay guy", she giggles...and BAM! Cops hear her on the recorded message and slap an extra 10 years onto her sentence. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAH...bitch.
*Now please stay tuned following this commercial break...*
LOST next Thursday. Not sure what time, prob 9, maybe 8. Check your local listings yourself.
Ok, were back with a dream I had. There were many, a church one, a work one, but this one involved me getting plastic surgery. On my feet. To make em smaller. Yeah, what a waste of surgery. Everyone was lookin at em like "oooh" and then one person commented "well theyre a tiny bit smaller, but not much". I would have kicked her, but the stitches still ached. Let me tell you, if i did have plastic surgery, it would not be on my FEET!
*Now a PSA (public service announcement, duh!)*
Make sure you vote this year. This really is a huge year for voters. Theyre saying one of the hugest elections in a loooooong time, since Abe Linc said no to slaves and FDR...well, Im not good with history. Anyway, I would like you to vote DEMOCRATIC, ah-em, but make your own choice (DEMOCRATIC). I really cant decide who Ill want if it comes down to Obama or Clinton. I will be watching intently, which you should do, too. You should talk about the candidates (but not more than you talk about my blog. And dont let anyone interrupt blog-talk with election talk, either. We have priorities, here). Our current president (whos a Republican, btw, not a DEMOCRAT) has f'ed this country up something good, and we need a fix. A fix of good old fashioned DEMOCRACY. Who better to bring that than a DEMOCRAT? Isnt it great we all have the freedom to vote as we please! (voteDEMOCRATorIdisownyouall).
**Brought to you by DEMOCRATS voting for DEMOCRATS and only DEMOCRATS.**
Hair update: Day 6 has brought a delightful "mohawk" to my head. I woke up, tried to tame my hair back down, and in doing so realized that this day brought the ability to move my hair and have it STAY where I put it! No styling products or hair spray needed! Not sure if thats a good thing, now that ive written it. Kinda sorry i did. Moving on...
So I mentioned i went walking downtown last night. We stopped at this little place called Cafe Septieme, which means something in some language, I dont really know. Anyway, it looked fancy, but they had dessert, so we were in! We were sat and looking for a dessert menu, but it was nowhere to be found on the dinner menu. When we asked our sweetie pie of a waiter if they had one he said, "Oh, no, you kinda have to just go stand at the display and look". Which means you might as well scream "Look, Im a fattie,and Im having dessert!" Torturous, but we complied. He followed us over (so sweet) and described every dessert. (He knows how to work a tip, let me tell you). We decided on our desserts and moments later were enjoying them, as, might I add, we enjoyed a glass of wine and a lovely musician playing some sort of synthesizer from the mid to late 80's. Yes, he played Flashdance, it was only fitting. I enjoyed it greatly, thinking back to the days when we'd steal Pappy's keyboard and play around with that, before the scary man, may he rest in peace, love you Pappy, yelled at us and ripped it away cuz of the "racket" (how do you spell racket when it refers to noise, anyway?) Donia, not so much enjoyment there. Didnt have keyboard days. Thought it was weird. "It sounds like drums and a horn. And he smells like pee." "Those are the special buttons!" I exclaimed (I, again, ignored the pee comment). Clearly, she gave me a strange look, and we moved onto the next topic. The waiter really was great, and had we had crew cuts and penises, he may even have hit on us! Wait, maybe he was straight, but just grossed out by my hair. Didnt think of that...So that was the highlight of the night, and i wont even tell you how much this late night dessert run cost us (good thing I got a job!). Thats how you can tell a city from a good ole hometown: in Rhody we would have run to Cumbys and grabbed a little Debbie. In Seattle, we walk 12 blocks and have to decide which bills not to pay that month just to get some cake.
Another fun thing in Seattle is the S.L.U.T. Whoa, hold on there, this is a family blog! No no, calm down, Im referring to what the stupidest "creative" executive board in the world has created in Seattle. A streetcar. Not a trolley, not a bus, not a Subway. A pretty shiny streetcar. Like a tram from Six Flags, but enclosed. What did they name this multimillion dollar project for all to see and ride? Thats right, the South Lake Union Tram. SLUT. Everyone calls it the SLUT here. Its a big joke. And the sad thing is I dont think it was meant to be a joke! They now want to build a walking area all around the SLUT. Know what theyve proposed for a name? Either South Lake Union Trail (baby SLUT) or Community Union North Trail. Ill leave that one for you to figure out. This is a family blog, after all. How did they not see that nickanme coming? Funny stat, though, wehn the SLUT was free, she had 78,000 riders in the first month. Now that you have to pay: 21,000 riders a month. See girls, anyone will ride a SLUT for free.
As I forge ahead into my weekend, and I know this blog is already some long, boring run-on sentence with the excitement of a postage stamp, I leave you with happiness and love and candy and munchkins (God i miss munchkins).
xo
P.S. In no way was I making fun of Pappy. We love him still. :)
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Wipe your feet, and leave your ignorance at the door...
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Hair update: This, the 5th day since I did my hair, was almost my breaking point. The hair is really not as "manageable" as Id hoped for. I did get out my straightener though and used the "natural oils" in my hair as a straightening agent. Its, well, straight. I wouldnt classify it as "gross" yet, but im sure some would (my mother sometimes showers twice a day, you couldnt pay her enough to do what Im doing). Donia said that it "Smelled like pee". I dont take this assessment very seriously though because she thinks everything smells like pee. Anyway, Its getting close and I feel I will finally wet my head on Saturday before going out, you know, for everyone elses sake.
Ive been following the Heath Ledger story a lot these last couple days. There are so many more sad things here than just his death. That may sound strange and harsh, but this world is a scary and unjust place. My first gripe is with the photographers and cameras all over the places he was, and where his loved ones are now. Yes, I would not have my updates if I didnt see these pics, but I look at them and I am mad at myself for it. Theyll do anyhting to try to get the ex-gf and child on camera, which they have not been very successful in doing yet, but they are staked out in front of every place they might go just to get a shot...at what? Shell be crying, shell look sad, she wont give you a comment. In the videos you can hear people screaming to them "leave them alone!". But they dont. Some things should be kept sacred, but not even the death of someones son, brother, bf, father is sacred anymore. They should be left to grieve on their own.
My second gripe, for lack of a harsher word not yet in my vocabulary, is with these people that have been COMING OUT AND SAYING THEYRE GLAD HES DEAD BECAUSE OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND HIS INVOLVEMENT! They are mocking and ridiculing his death, publicly! A newsreporter from Fox News said on the air that he was a bad person and pretty much said, in not so many words, that hes better off. Another person who made a public statement was none other than THe Ultimate Warrior. Of WWF fame. He said that it was good he died becasue now his daughter does not have that bad influence in her life. Just disgusting.
Heres what I dont get, and we could debate this for days and still never get to say everything: These people are self proclaimed "Christians". They believe in God. The same God I and my family and friends and this country believes in. They read the Bible? Probably. Then why cant they see that the Bible says to love everyone. Not "everyone who you agree with" but everyone. The Bible also says we are not to judge, but God is to be the judge we answer to. Yes it says not to drink, to hurt your body, to have sex before marriage, all 10 commandments, and yes, if we are staying on topic, that man should be with woman. But does it say to persecute and hate and kill and wish ill to those who do commit these things? No. And it especially does not say to celebrate the death of someone who hurt no one, but just had different beliefs than you. Newsman, Ult War., all others who have this opinion: you are free to have it, but dont forget, you are just a human. You are no closer to God than anyone else. You are a man. You sin. You will be judged. Its just awful that these men have influence over others and can spread this hate to so many. I believe that if you believe in God you should preach his name to those you love, to those willing to listen, but that doesnt mean you will have the power to make them believe as you. You do your part, but everyone is left to believe as they wish.
I did not see that coming when they announced his death. Who could be so hateful and cruel. Not Gods children.
A man on Ellen today, a doctor that wrote a book about being and living by love and not hate, said that the Native Americans had a saying: "No tree has branches so foolish as to fight amongst themselves..." Youll recognize it as my new quote. Just think about it. We were not put here to fight each other and hate. We were put here to do good for everyone else and ourselves. We are all the same. Same feelings, same organs, same things kill us as keep us alive. Yet we all feel more worthy or more deserving of things, we all want money and power and recognition and to be right and to prove our point and no one stops to see what we all have in common. Lots Im sure, if we just looked.
Sorry this blog is such a downer, its meant to actually uplift. I watched the movie A Mighty Heart today and it inspired me, along with my sadness at the comments of these rightous religious groups, to say what I felt on equality and love. I hope that some people think about it and maybe see where they could make a difference in their lives. I try to do it as much as possible.
Hopping down off my soap box now. Hope I dont injure my ankle again...
Disregard this if it angers you or makes you upset. You have the choice to read it or not. It is not meant to offend, or preach, in any way. I guess this is just what they call "blogging".
For more info on those comments made by the men mentioned, go to PerezHilton.com. Yes, he does celebrity gossip, but he is not using any photos of the familys of Heath Ledger. Ther is also info for those who would like to tell Fox News how inappropriate it was to let such commnets on the air. Then again, freedom of speech goes both ways, I guess. Use your power for good
Hair update: This, the 5th day since I did my hair, was almost my breaking point. The hair is really not as "manageable" as Id hoped for. I did get out my straightener though and used the "natural oils" in my hair as a straightening agent. Its, well, straight. I wouldnt classify it as "gross" yet, but im sure some would (my mother sometimes showers twice a day, you couldnt pay her enough to do what Im doing). Donia said that it "Smelled like pee". I dont take this assessment very seriously though because she thinks everything smells like pee. Anyway, Its getting close and I feel I will finally wet my head on Saturday before going out, you know, for everyone elses sake.
Ive been following the Heath Ledger story a lot these last couple days. There are so many more sad things here than just his death. That may sound strange and harsh, but this world is a scary and unjust place. My first gripe is with the photographers and cameras all over the places he was, and where his loved ones are now. Yes, I would not have my updates if I didnt see these pics, but I look at them and I am mad at myself for it. Theyll do anyhting to try to get the ex-gf and child on camera, which they have not been very successful in doing yet, but they are staked out in front of every place they might go just to get a shot...at what? Shell be crying, shell look sad, she wont give you a comment. In the videos you can hear people screaming to them "leave them alone!". But they dont. Some things should be kept sacred, but not even the death of someones son, brother, bf, father is sacred anymore. They should be left to grieve on their own.
My second gripe, for lack of a harsher word not yet in my vocabulary, is with these people that have been COMING OUT AND SAYING THEYRE GLAD HES DEAD BECAUSE OF BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND HIS INVOLVEMENT! They are mocking and ridiculing his death, publicly! A newsreporter from Fox News said on the air that he was a bad person and pretty much said, in not so many words, that hes better off. Another person who made a public statement was none other than THe Ultimate Warrior. Of WWF fame. He said that it was good he died becasue now his daughter does not have that bad influence in her life. Just disgusting.
Heres what I dont get, and we could debate this for days and still never get to say everything: These people are self proclaimed "Christians". They believe in God. The same God I and my family and friends and this country believes in. They read the Bible? Probably. Then why cant they see that the Bible says to love everyone. Not "everyone who you agree with" but everyone. The Bible also says we are not to judge, but God is to be the judge we answer to. Yes it says not to drink, to hurt your body, to have sex before marriage, all 10 commandments, and yes, if we are staying on topic, that man should be with woman. But does it say to persecute and hate and kill and wish ill to those who do commit these things? No. And it especially does not say to celebrate the death of someone who hurt no one, but just had different beliefs than you. Newsman, Ult War., all others who have this opinion: you are free to have it, but dont forget, you are just a human. You are no closer to God than anyone else. You are a man. You sin. You will be judged. Its just awful that these men have influence over others and can spread this hate to so many. I believe that if you believe in God you should preach his name to those you love, to those willing to listen, but that doesnt mean you will have the power to make them believe as you. You do your part, but everyone is left to believe as they wish.
I did not see that coming when they announced his death. Who could be so hateful and cruel. Not Gods children.
A man on Ellen today, a doctor that wrote a book about being and living by love and not hate, said that the Native Americans had a saying: "No tree has branches so foolish as to fight amongst themselves..." Youll recognize it as my new quote. Just think about it. We were not put here to fight each other and hate. We were put here to do good for everyone else and ourselves. We are all the same. Same feelings, same organs, same things kill us as keep us alive. Yet we all feel more worthy or more deserving of things, we all want money and power and recognition and to be right and to prove our point and no one stops to see what we all have in common. Lots Im sure, if we just looked.
Sorry this blog is such a downer, its meant to actually uplift. I watched the movie A Mighty Heart today and it inspired me, along with my sadness at the comments of these rightous religious groups, to say what I felt on equality and love. I hope that some people think about it and maybe see where they could make a difference in their lives. I try to do it as much as possible.
Hopping down off my soap box now. Hope I dont injure my ankle again...
Disregard this if it angers you or makes you upset. You have the choice to read it or not. It is not meant to offend, or preach, in any way. I guess this is just what they call "blogging".
For more info on those comments made by the men mentioned, go to PerezHilton.com. Yes, he does celebrity gossip, but he is not using any photos of the familys of Heath Ledger. Ther is also info for those who would like to tell Fox News how inappropriate it was to let such commnets on the air. Then again, freedom of speech goes both ways, I guess. Use your power for good
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
30 seconds from vomiting
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
My blog today, much like myself, will be very bleh. This is a term I like to use when things are just feeling and looking gross. Like I feel bleh because I drank a crapload last night, and looking bleh because, well, we all read about my hair. So, Im just bleh today, and my blog will reflect that.
Other bleh things: Ive been getting a ton (a few) comments from people saying they miss me, they wish Seattle was closer, wish Id visit, etc. I reallllly want to!!! Its really a lot of fun over here and Im experiencing a new place and new people (not friends, just people), but I do wish I was like a 5 hour car ride away rather than a week away, or an expensive plane ride. I am starting a new job monday and Im hoping Ill be able to be back this spring or summer. There are so many people that I just miss seeing all the time, it doesnt hit you til youre gone...
Poor Heath Ledger, that was really awful. Of course i didnt know him or anything, but I really felt sad. Almost my age, wayyy too young to die.
Lets see, in other news my vaca is almost over and ill be back with you working people next week. Blogs should be wayyyy more interesting then!!
Sorry.
Bleh.
My blog today, much like myself, will be very bleh. This is a term I like to use when things are just feeling and looking gross. Like I feel bleh because I drank a crapload last night, and looking bleh because, well, we all read about my hair. So, Im just bleh today, and my blog will reflect that.
Other bleh things: Ive been getting a ton (a few) comments from people saying they miss me, they wish Seattle was closer, wish Id visit, etc. I reallllly want to!!! Its really a lot of fun over here and Im experiencing a new place and new people (not friends, just people), but I do wish I was like a 5 hour car ride away rather than a week away, or an expensive plane ride. I am starting a new job monday and Im hoping Ill be able to be back this spring or summer. There are so many people that I just miss seeing all the time, it doesnt hit you til youre gone...
Poor Heath Ledger, that was really awful. Of course i didnt know him or anything, but I really felt sad. Almost my age, wayyy too young to die.
Lets see, in other news my vaca is almost over and ill be back with you working people next week. Blogs should be wayyyy more interesting then!!
Sorry.
Bleh.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Following the Example of Miss Spears...
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
No, Im not going crazy. No, I dont have cameras following me everywhere (geez, maybe they could be my friends!). Everytime I see Britney (every day on TMZ.com) I notice her hair is just, well, greasy and gross. Despite that, its so manageable!! She can just throw it up in an elastic and it looks cute. SO, Ive decided I wanna see if I can do it too. NO, I dont have extensions like she does, but last Saturday I straightened and then crimped (yes, Punky, I said crimped) my hair. It was strictly out of pure boredom, but seeing as I put an hour of my time into it, I felt I should see how long it lasts...Its now Tuesday, and I havent washed my hair yet. Im trying to go til next Monday, but if I go out Saturday night, I may give it up then. Either way, a week without washing should be pretty close to Brit's rats nest, no?
*This is why I have no friends*
I just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone but DJ(!) for not bothering me and/or busting my balls about football. Sunday night I couldnt sleep all night because I was so upset about the game. It still hurts. That is all I have on this topic.
So my dog Nash is NOT, I repeat NOT a city dog. Gus is pretty versatile, stick him in a yard or on a leash in the middle of downtown and hes happy. Well, Nash is so skiddish its hard to have a successful walk anywhere! Here are the things hes afraid of/stops walking because of/jumps and drags himself for:
*People walking by
*Other animals walking by
*loud noises, i.e. buses and cars with bad mufflers
*metal grates in the ground
*cross walks
*doors to stores opening and closing
*skateboarders
Ok, now picture all of these things and trying to avoid them in the city. Our walk the other night ended with me carrying Nash and Donia carrying Gus in our jackets all the way home. Like the chihuahuas they truly are, they liked being cuddled in our shirts and just looking around much better! Wasted perfectly good money on leashes I guess...
This brought an idea to mind...Donia called it a CHIcocoon. I could sew a little carrier for the doggies that we can swaddle around ourselves much like those super hippie baby carriers you see! Hmmmm....ching ching!
It may also seem like a good idea to make your own corn tortilla chips. Its not. They taste like unsalted floor tiles, and will break your teeth just as easily. Buy the bag...( this is actually a message meant to head straight for Donia's eyes...)
LOST is 2 weeks away! To all my fellow LOST fans, its gonna be good. There will definitely be a section of my blog for LOST thoughts and feelings, coming soon...
I have lots of bead dreams. Many of you know this, but if you dont, now you do. Bad. Very gross and disturbing and bad. Its been like that forever, so Im not so much worried as curious about them. Always being kidnapped, as I said before. Last night there were snakes, but that was nothing. Heres an example of what I see in my (f'ed up?) head:
I was in a car accident apparently (didnt see that part) and had awful deep cuts and stitches all over my back and chest and stomach. I had to go to the hospital to get the bandages changed every couple days. They said theyd have to cut into the wounds to get the stitches out and redo them every time, so I could either have a shot of lidocaine (for numbing) or just do it natural. I said definitely the shot, but then they said nevermind, I had to just have it done without. So they sat me on a table and put my head over a sink cuz they said the pain would probably make me puke. I was so scared! They started peeling the bandages off and cutting the stitches. It was awful. Then when they were done I told them I still hadnt seen the wounds yet, and the woman warned me that it would be horrifying and it would take time for me to even get used to seeing it. I didnt look...
Bleh, f'in gross, right. Every morning I wake up to these things. In life I got the good hair, but the bad dreams. Fair trade? You tell me.
Good luck to Amy Winehouse who has checked herself into rehab. Why do crackheads make such good music?
Dont forget A.I. tonight...
~Sweet nightmares (theyre probably better than my best dreams)~
No, Im not going crazy. No, I dont have cameras following me everywhere (geez, maybe they could be my friends!). Everytime I see Britney (every day on TMZ.com) I notice her hair is just, well, greasy and gross. Despite that, its so manageable!! She can just throw it up in an elastic and it looks cute. SO, Ive decided I wanna see if I can do it too. NO, I dont have extensions like she does, but last Saturday I straightened and then crimped (yes, Punky, I said crimped) my hair. It was strictly out of pure boredom, but seeing as I put an hour of my time into it, I felt I should see how long it lasts...Its now Tuesday, and I havent washed my hair yet. Im trying to go til next Monday, but if I go out Saturday night, I may give it up then. Either way, a week without washing should be pretty close to Brit's rats nest, no?
*This is why I have no friends*
I just wanted to give a quick thank you to everyone but DJ(!) for not bothering me and/or busting my balls about football. Sunday night I couldnt sleep all night because I was so upset about the game. It still hurts. That is all I have on this topic.
So my dog Nash is NOT, I repeat NOT a city dog. Gus is pretty versatile, stick him in a yard or on a leash in the middle of downtown and hes happy. Well, Nash is so skiddish its hard to have a successful walk anywhere! Here are the things hes afraid of/stops walking because of/jumps and drags himself for:
*People walking by
*Other animals walking by
*loud noises, i.e. buses and cars with bad mufflers
*metal grates in the ground
*cross walks
*doors to stores opening and closing
*skateboarders
Ok, now picture all of these things and trying to avoid them in the city. Our walk the other night ended with me carrying Nash and Donia carrying Gus in our jackets all the way home. Like the chihuahuas they truly are, they liked being cuddled in our shirts and just looking around much better! Wasted perfectly good money on leashes I guess...
This brought an idea to mind...Donia called it a CHIcocoon. I could sew a little carrier for the doggies that we can swaddle around ourselves much like those super hippie baby carriers you see! Hmmmm....ching ching!
It may also seem like a good idea to make your own corn tortilla chips. Its not. They taste like unsalted floor tiles, and will break your teeth just as easily. Buy the bag...( this is actually a message meant to head straight for Donia's eyes...)
LOST is 2 weeks away! To all my fellow LOST fans, its gonna be good. There will definitely be a section of my blog for LOST thoughts and feelings, coming soon...
I have lots of bead dreams. Many of you know this, but if you dont, now you do. Bad. Very gross and disturbing and bad. Its been like that forever, so Im not so much worried as curious about them. Always being kidnapped, as I said before. Last night there were snakes, but that was nothing. Heres an example of what I see in my (f'ed up?) head:
I was in a car accident apparently (didnt see that part) and had awful deep cuts and stitches all over my back and chest and stomach. I had to go to the hospital to get the bandages changed every couple days. They said theyd have to cut into the wounds to get the stitches out and redo them every time, so I could either have a shot of lidocaine (for numbing) or just do it natural. I said definitely the shot, but then they said nevermind, I had to just have it done without. So they sat me on a table and put my head over a sink cuz they said the pain would probably make me puke. I was so scared! They started peeling the bandages off and cutting the stitches. It was awful. Then when they were done I told them I still hadnt seen the wounds yet, and the woman warned me that it would be horrifying and it would take time for me to even get used to seeing it. I didnt look...
Bleh, f'in gross, right. Every morning I wake up to these things. In life I got the good hair, but the bad dreams. Fair trade? You tell me.
Good luck to Amy Winehouse who has checked herself into rehab. Why do crackheads make such good music?
Dont forget A.I. tonight...
~Sweet nightmares (theyre probably better than my best dreams)~
Monday, January 21, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Cheerio!
Sunday, January 20, 2008
* Please excuse the absence of the Saturday blog. Its my day of rest. And by rest I mean resting my face in a bottle of vodka*
I want my kids to be born British. No I dont necessarily want an English father for them, I want them to have English accents at birth. I want their first word not to be "mama" but "mummy". Im so excited about this idea that Im not sure if Ill love them as much without this feature...
I missed the lovers' on floor 5's 10 am sexcapade yesterday. Obviously, Donia didnt...
I wanted to go out last night, but moneys a bit tight right now, so instead we shut off all the lights but one and pretended we were in a nightclub. It was a great time, the dance floor wasnt too packed and the drinks were free...we need a name for it, I was tossing around either "Losers" or "Devoid of Friends Because We Pretend We Have Our Own Nightclub".
The Pats are playing the Chargers as we speak. Which brings me to this prayer to our Dear Lord, a Packer fan ( He told me so):
Dear God,
Please let the Chargers upset the Pats. My team has a very small chance of beating the Pats, and you know Favre has been waiting for a Superbowl ring before he retires. I know youre getting a lot of these prayers lately, but the Packers deserve this. Also, please let one or more Giants freeze today and not be able to play the game. No death, just some severe frost bite or hypothermia will do.
Also, bless those I love, except Tom Brady and Eli Manning (Payton is fine).
Sincerely,
Leah Watson
GOPACKGO
In 1 hour I will be nauseaus til the game is over...
***********************************************************
In lieu of comments, please send money...
* Please excuse the absence of the Saturday blog. Its my day of rest. And by rest I mean resting my face in a bottle of vodka*
I want my kids to be born British. No I dont necessarily want an English father for them, I want them to have English accents at birth. I want their first word not to be "mama" but "mummy". Im so excited about this idea that Im not sure if Ill love them as much without this feature...
I missed the lovers' on floor 5's 10 am sexcapade yesterday. Obviously, Donia didnt...
I wanted to go out last night, but moneys a bit tight right now, so instead we shut off all the lights but one and pretended we were in a nightclub. It was a great time, the dance floor wasnt too packed and the drinks were free...we need a name for it, I was tossing around either "Losers" or "Devoid of Friends Because We Pretend We Have Our Own Nightclub".
The Pats are playing the Chargers as we speak. Which brings me to this prayer to our Dear Lord, a Packer fan ( He told me so):
Dear God,
Please let the Chargers upset the Pats. My team has a very small chance of beating the Pats, and you know Favre has been waiting for a Superbowl ring before he retires. I know youre getting a lot of these prayers lately, but the Packers deserve this. Also, please let one or more Giants freeze today and not be able to play the game. No death, just some severe frost bite or hypothermia will do.
Also, bless those I love, except Tom Brady and Eli Manning (Payton is fine).
Sincerely,
Leah Watson
GOPACKGO
In 1 hour I will be nauseaus til the game is over...
***********************************************************
In lieu of comments, please send money...
Friday, January 18, 2008
Would the real women please stand up...
Friday, January 18, 2008
On the Tyra Banks show today, she is interviewing Hilary Clinton. (Well Hilary, dont worry, weve all wasted an hour of our lives here and there.) Anyway, a man at one of her rallies held up a sign reading "Iron My Shirt". What is wrong with men? Dont think this is going to be some crazy man-hating rant, but seriously dude? Really? Come on now!! If you have a woman at home that irons your shirt because you tell her to, then shame on her. Doing nice things for people you love is great; doing things cuz its your job (as a woman) is pathetic. Its so dated, its so 50 years ago. Stand up for yourselves women. If you dont, theres no one to blame but yourself. In this day and age, this man should have been laughed out of the room.
This blog is gonna be short and sweet. Nothing great happened in the last 24 hours, so I have not much to write.
Visited Applebees last night. Spent lots. Hey, at least I have a job now!
TGIF. No plans for this weekend yet, Ill keep you posted. Tonight Im having turkey, which is great. Highlight of my day I guess. Cant wait til I am doing something with my life.
Went for a great walk last night. Its a 30 minute walk to my new job. Can you say Built-In Exercise!!
This water thing is making me pee clear 10 times a day.
Gotta whiz...now!
On the Tyra Banks show today, she is interviewing Hilary Clinton. (Well Hilary, dont worry, weve all wasted an hour of our lives here and there.) Anyway, a man at one of her rallies held up a sign reading "Iron My Shirt". What is wrong with men? Dont think this is going to be some crazy man-hating rant, but seriously dude? Really? Come on now!! If you have a woman at home that irons your shirt because you tell her to, then shame on her. Doing nice things for people you love is great; doing things cuz its your job (as a woman) is pathetic. Its so dated, its so 50 years ago. Stand up for yourselves women. If you dont, theres no one to blame but yourself. In this day and age, this man should have been laughed out of the room.
This blog is gonna be short and sweet. Nothing great happened in the last 24 hours, so I have not much to write.
Visited Applebees last night. Spent lots. Hey, at least I have a job now!
TGIF. No plans for this weekend yet, Ill keep you posted. Tonight Im having turkey, which is great. Highlight of my day I guess. Cant wait til I am doing something with my life.
Went for a great walk last night. Its a 30 minute walk to my new job. Can you say Built-In Exercise!!
This water thing is making me pee clear 10 times a day.
Gotta whiz...now!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Gettin it on, 5th floor style (we live on the 4th)
Thursday, January 17, 2008
1 glass down, 9 to go!!! Try drinking 10 glasses of water a day! Then they tell you 4 glasses of fat free milk for good calcium and protein. Where am I supposed to fit in the booze?!
A.I. night 2: As entertaining as night 1. More hopefuls. I just cant remember anyone Ive seen so far, so Im waiting for the real action to start in a few weeks. Give me names, weight loss, and makeovers and Im there!!
My friends are growing! No theyre not getting fatter. No, Im not making friends here in Seattle. My Myspace friends have gone from 109 to 122 since Ive been out of work! Most of them arent even real people, though, just night clubs and L WORD fan sites.
BTW, Did you watch it yet?
Im visiting Applebees tonight. Hopefully see some people I know and have a drink or two. Excited:)
I always have dreams Im being kidnapped, or have been kidnapped, or am being held hostage and am trying to stage a way to get free. Last night was another bad one, but guess who saved me? DONIA! Way to go! She always complains I never dream about her. Well, there you go, my hero:)
My mother got a cat. Ever since I was little my face would blow up and my nose wouldnt stop running for days if Id even SEEN a cat. And now she has one. Jinxy. Bleh. Jinxy has taken my place at home. The second the asthmatic allergy-stricken one leaves, BAM! A cat moves in. Stupid jinxy. Hope you like dogs and birds and reptiles.
ANd now something funny. None of the rest has been. Right above our bed there is a couple who has loud sex. About 3 times a week (average?). Not loud sex like yelling or anyhting, loud like they NEED A NEW FUCKING BED! It squeaks like crazy! We lay there and giggle at their hetero escapades. We try to figure out how theyre doing it. Donia asked if I thought it was consentual! It wasnt rape, I replied. She meant if the woman was really into it or not. I said I dont know, lets listen...So we did, and the rhythm seemed to be pretty strong, but then it slowed, then sped up again, then the really fast part, then...done. Silence. They have been keeping us up for that passionate 5 minutes of theirs for about 3 weeks now, on and off. Weekends are really popular for them, and the loudest. Last night Donia had fallen asleep, but I got the pleasure (bleh!) of hearing it, but it was weak. Oh well, better luck in a couple days, dude...
1 glass down, 9 to go!!! Try drinking 10 glasses of water a day! Then they tell you 4 glasses of fat free milk for good calcium and protein. Where am I supposed to fit in the booze?!
A.I. night 2: As entertaining as night 1. More hopefuls. I just cant remember anyone Ive seen so far, so Im waiting for the real action to start in a few weeks. Give me names, weight loss, and makeovers and Im there!!
My friends are growing! No theyre not getting fatter. No, Im not making friends here in Seattle. My Myspace friends have gone from 109 to 122 since Ive been out of work! Most of them arent even real people, though, just night clubs and L WORD fan sites.
BTW, Did you watch it yet?
Im visiting Applebees tonight. Hopefully see some people I know and have a drink or two. Excited:)
I always have dreams Im being kidnapped, or have been kidnapped, or am being held hostage and am trying to stage a way to get free. Last night was another bad one, but guess who saved me? DONIA! Way to go! She always complains I never dream about her. Well, there you go, my hero:)
My mother got a cat. Ever since I was little my face would blow up and my nose wouldnt stop running for days if Id even SEEN a cat. And now she has one. Jinxy. Bleh. Jinxy has taken my place at home. The second the asthmatic allergy-stricken one leaves, BAM! A cat moves in. Stupid jinxy. Hope you like dogs and birds and reptiles.
ANd now something funny. None of the rest has been. Right above our bed there is a couple who has loud sex. About 3 times a week (average?). Not loud sex like yelling or anyhting, loud like they NEED A NEW FUCKING BED! It squeaks like crazy! We lay there and giggle at their hetero escapades. We try to figure out how theyre doing it. Donia asked if I thought it was consentual! It wasnt rape, I replied. She meant if the woman was really into it or not. I said I dont know, lets listen...So we did, and the rhythm seemed to be pretty strong, but then it slowed, then sped up again, then the really fast part, then...done. Silence. They have been keeping us up for that passionate 5 minutes of theirs for about 3 weeks now, on and off. Weekends are really popular for them, and the loudest. Last night Donia had fallen asleep, but I got the pleasure (bleh!) of hearing it, but it was weak. Oh well, better luck in a couple days, dude...
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
13 Days Away
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
So Im sitting here on my green couch, as I have for the last month and a half, and it hits me: Why am I not blogging!? Probably because, No.1, I hate the term "blogging". It sounds like a British term for sex. Dirty Gross Bad-Teeth British Sex. No. 2, I never thought of it before because my life just seems so boring here at home in the world of unemployment. I guess I could find a few things, though, that may amuse the 2 to 3 readers I might get. For the next 2 weeks I will be writing, hopefully every day, and filling you poor souls with nothing better to do in on my life.
Fun Fact About Me: I have only worked 9 out of the last 15 months, due to injuries, relocation, and not being able to stand my new Prick of a boss.
I watch TV. Too much I guess you could say. Ellen is my very favorite though. Shes a great woman. Thats all. Watch her.
I bought my first pair of men's jeans yesterday from Old Navy. No worries, Im not shaving my head or getting "the operation" or anything. Theyre big, comfy, but cute. And now, on to cute belts...
L WORD! If you dont watch it, you should. You need to go to the video store and rent seasons 1-4, then start watching 5 Now!! Warning though, its not for the faint of heart. Maybe you should ease into it with some YouTube clips before you jump into an episode. But my God, what a good show!!!
The Green Bay Fucking Packers are going to the Superbowl!!! I just know it, Favre wouldnt lose it at this point. A game against the Giants, yes, even the Cowboy-beating Giants, will be tough, but we got it. 10 years Ive followed them, and now Im here across the country and I have no one to watch it with (no one that loves em like me). I cant wait!! Im going to a bar, Im wearing my jersey, gettin tipsy on Blue Moon, and cheering them on!!!
I also got new boots yesterday. Cute ones, really good Seattle boots. Not goloshes, though. Dont worry:)
A.I. last night was fun. Im so happy its back on. Last year was the first season I watched all the way through. There were some talented guys last night, but the girls really took it. Cant wait for tonight!!
I also started watching biggest loser this year for the first time, but now A.I. is on on the same night!!! I hate doing the whole flip back and forth thing...
so today ahs consisted of waking up late cuz Donia took the bus to work (yeah!), watching Ellen, enjoying Days, eating buffalo chx (ob-sessed!) and deciding to write. The dogs are sitting next me, sleeping, and they are dreaming. Ever seen a dog dream? Nash's mouth moves, he growls and whimpers, and his eyes even open. Funny, Ill try to get it on film. Anyway, the rest of the day brings picking Donia up at 5 and then some dinner, a walk maybe, and A.I.--night 2!!!
My New Years Resolution was to drink 80 oz. of water a day. So far Im doing mediocre, but every day is a new chance to start over.
I have been trying to sew with my new Christmas sewing machine but boy is it hard to read a pattern!! I wanted to make cute little shirt dresses and vests, but its tough! I got this idea to make little stylish fanny packs a while ago though, and I think that may be my next endeavor. They will all have a signature red lining in them. You can wear them out for a run, or to the bar for your essentials. Ill post a pic after the first ones done.
I miss my friends and family.
Til tomorrow...
So Im sitting here on my green couch, as I have for the last month and a half, and it hits me: Why am I not blogging!? Probably because, No.1, I hate the term "blogging". It sounds like a British term for sex. Dirty Gross Bad-Teeth British Sex. No. 2, I never thought of it before because my life just seems so boring here at home in the world of unemployment. I guess I could find a few things, though, that may amuse the 2 to 3 readers I might get. For the next 2 weeks I will be writing, hopefully every day, and filling you poor souls with nothing better to do in on my life.
Fun Fact About Me: I have only worked 9 out of the last 15 months, due to injuries, relocation, and not being able to stand my new Prick of a boss.
I watch TV. Too much I guess you could say. Ellen is my very favorite though. Shes a great woman. Thats all. Watch her.
I bought my first pair of men's jeans yesterday from Old Navy. No worries, Im not shaving my head or getting "the operation" or anything. Theyre big, comfy, but cute. And now, on to cute belts...
L WORD! If you dont watch it, you should. You need to go to the video store and rent seasons 1-4, then start watching 5 Now!! Warning though, its not for the faint of heart. Maybe you should ease into it with some YouTube clips before you jump into an episode. But my God, what a good show!!!
The Green Bay Fucking Packers are going to the Superbowl!!! I just know it, Favre wouldnt lose it at this point. A game against the Giants, yes, even the Cowboy-beating Giants, will be tough, but we got it. 10 years Ive followed them, and now Im here across the country and I have no one to watch it with (no one that loves em like me). I cant wait!! Im going to a bar, Im wearing my jersey, gettin tipsy on Blue Moon, and cheering them on!!!
I also got new boots yesterday. Cute ones, really good Seattle boots. Not goloshes, though. Dont worry:)
A.I. last night was fun. Im so happy its back on. Last year was the first season I watched all the way through. There were some talented guys last night, but the girls really took it. Cant wait for tonight!!
I also started watching biggest loser this year for the first time, but now A.I. is on on the same night!!! I hate doing the whole flip back and forth thing...
so today ahs consisted of waking up late cuz Donia took the bus to work (yeah!), watching Ellen, enjoying Days, eating buffalo chx (ob-sessed!) and deciding to write. The dogs are sitting next me, sleeping, and they are dreaming. Ever seen a dog dream? Nash's mouth moves, he growls and whimpers, and his eyes even open. Funny, Ill try to get it on film. Anyway, the rest of the day brings picking Donia up at 5 and then some dinner, a walk maybe, and A.I.--night 2!!!
My New Years Resolution was to drink 80 oz. of water a day. So far Im doing mediocre, but every day is a new chance to start over.
I have been trying to sew with my new Christmas sewing machine but boy is it hard to read a pattern!! I wanted to make cute little shirt dresses and vests, but its tough! I got this idea to make little stylish fanny packs a while ago though, and I think that may be my next endeavor. They will all have a signature red lining in them. You can wear them out for a run, or to the bar for your essentials. Ill post a pic after the first ones done.
I miss my friends and family.
Til tomorrow...
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