Dept. of Madness and Vengeance (DMV)

Saturday, January 26, 2008

Now, the moment we've all been waiting for (especially the citizens of Seattle)...{drum rolllllll}...I WASHED MY HAIR! And not because my aunt called me a grease ball or because Jade said it bordered on gross or even because my dogs would no longer lay with me on the couch. It was just time. Time to let go of the grease and frizz. It took about a full 45 seconds for my hair to actually get wet once it hit the shower. Apparently water and oil dont mix, so the water just rolled off for a while. I think i heard the sound of Heavenly angels when the shampoo hit my scalp. And, if I didnt know better, when that conditioner was applied, Id swear my head shed a tear...
Needless to say, the stupid curls are back.
Last night was night 2 that Nash created a shitshow of a walk. First fumble Nash made: even after being walked through 3 separate patches of fresh grass, Nash proceeded to stop mid-stride and SHIT on the sidewalk. Not expecting this idiotic behavior, I had nothing to pick it up with. Luckily it was late and we just took off down the next block, sight unseen.
People are just crazy about these dogs though. We got comments like "Oooh, attack dogs" from a man at the crosswalk, to which we fake laugh and say "Yeah"...like weve never heard that before. The next one came from a man...at a red light...who rolled down his window to yell out "Hey, I like your dog!" (Note he only said "dog", singular. Nash was cowering in a corner because of a scary scary sewer cap). The last was a bit scarier, coming from a comment I heard in passing by a frightening/gothic homeless kid who said "...it makes me want to blow my fucking brains out. I rather be THAT DOG right now". I did not reply with a witty remark on how Nash must be cooler than he is, mainly because I didnt know if he had a gun on him to back up that whole suicide threat.
Quote of the week:
"My eyebrows need to be done soooooo bad. They are about to run away and start a carpet store"
~Donia
My mind was wandering and I had a random thought. If I got my eye shot out while playing paintball becasue I failed to wear my safety glasses, I would opt for the glass eye, of course. But the glass eye doesnt move naturally, so instead of freaking people out, I feel like I would want an eye patch. Not just a run-of-the-mill Captain Jack Sparrow pirate patch, but a skin colored patch. Why dont people wear these?! So much more inconspicuous than the black patch we see so often. I cant possibly be the first to think of this. (Sadly, though, I may be...)
So today has been a loooong day. Reason being? A little thing called the Washington Dept. of Licensing. How long did we sit there, you ask? 3 hours. 3 long smelly boring multicultural multilingual multitorturous hours. During this time we went to lunch and the bank and still had tons of time to sit there and wait. Just wait. Luckily, the last hour flew by because a bunch of people had jumped ship and lost patience, leaving their numbers on the floor and us in their dust. Dust we were very happy to be left in, for it let us get or WA licenses much quicker! Donia needed it for her car, I needed it for my new job. Her woman was really speedy, to the point, and pleasant. My guy was long haired, snaggle toothed, and had an obsession with discussing RI with me. ("You guys have Cianci. You guys have Family Guy. Did you see the episode where...?"). I finally broke away from the Rhody Trivia freak and made my way to the picture line. They let you smile if you want to, and when the pic is done they say "Please verify address and see if you like the picture". A choice!! I was excited! Til I realized, of course, that if I went to the screen and hated it Id have to say "WOW, Im uggggg-ly, can we run that back?" Also, I knew if I tried it over again once, having this power in my hands, Id do a full half hour photo shoot, critiquing everything! Therefore, when you see my geek pic, dont laugh, I just held my breath and said "Ok" to the first one. Fun fact though: I wore my Favre jersey in the pic. Til at least 2012 I will be reppin the Pack!
Then brought Walmart. Super Walmart. Nuff said...
Needless to say, tonight was a late blog. Get used to it, fans and readers (all 4 of you left), I will be writing at night starting Monday because of the job. If only someone paid me to blog...
Going out tonight. Gettin drunk because A.) its been a while B.) I wanna and C.) It does a body good. We are walking the 4 blocks so there will be no D+D for us. Hope to God I dont fall on my face, fall on my ass, twist my ankle, or tumble into the street. (Oh, come on now ma! Only one of those has ever happened! )
Happy Weekend. Drink, drink, and be merry!