HANG me OVER a bridge and push

Ok, can I be honest for a sec? Good, honesty to come in 3,2,1...

I may still be tipsy from last night this morning, maybe it's because when you throw up it affects you in the same way it did going down? Doesn't matter, point is I am sick and it's all my fault and I'm never drinking again...blah blah blah.

This is hopefully an old skool-ish blog for y'all about nothing and everything and nothing all over again.

TOP 10 WAYS TO KNOW DONIA IS AWAY FOR THE WEEKEND:
10. All the windows are open and it's February
9. The house is a MESS
8. More dishes in the sink than in the cupboards.
7. The hair in the shower drain could pass as a small redheaded animal
6. Garbage out on the deck is hazardous to humans and animals alike. I may be fined soon.
5. I stayed out past 10 pm last night.
4. Lots of uninterrupted internet time
3. Reality shows for 4 days
2. Same clothes I was wearing Thursday
1. Britney CD has been on repeat 24/7 since I dropped her at the airport!

So it may seem like she's controlling and doesn't let me live my life as I want to...

yep, that's it.

She will be back today, which means I have to muster up enough sobriety and stomach control to go get her from the airport. I guess it's do-able, seeing as she makes the car payments and allows me to live my messy life in the Civic.

Can I just make a shout-out right now? Mind you, I realize I am immature and a total dork, but think of it this way: the girl is a year and a half younger than me! (yes, I know this). I am, of course, speaking of Miss Brit Brit, aka Britney Spears. She is amazing, y'all, and I don't use that word all too often. Ok, usually only about really good nachos, but never about people. People have nothing on nachos. (Did I really just write that? Yes I did.) I have heard her CD now at least 30 times on repeat since January and I'm totally sold. Totally. Sold. At first I wasn't impressed, thought they all sounded the same, but now I can tell them apart as if they were my very own octuplets that I couldn't afford but loved with all the crazy in my heart. I guess that pretty much explains how I feel about B. Spears. She is my hero. (I wrote "herp" by accident first. Freudian slip?) I will see her in April and I am very tempted to go to the concert either donning the old skool "Baby one more time" outfit or the new "Circus" ringleader costume. Either way, there'll be pics. So what if just me and my gay male friends are into her. We're talkin guys who taught me to apply bronzer and who can always tell when I'm on my period. That's love.

Point: listen to her CD. (or don't. I'll just die a slow, sad death)

Another thing I desperately want to promote: Twilight. Again, I know, I have the mind of a preteen with the boobs of a woman, but I neeeeed you to read this. And this isn't the same as the Brit CD, that I just want you to hear it cuz I love it and I secretly know none of you will fall for it (hey, did I just say that?? regardless--LISTEN TO BRITNEY!) No, you need to read these books. You need to see the movie. Twice. Like me. With plans to see it for a third time in the theaters before it goes to DVD, which you will buy the moment it goes on sale, no matter what the asking price. You, at first, will not want to make it the whole way through the first book, but at some point it will hit you and you will be in love. And by in love I don't mean you will wish you were a vampire and give anything and everything to actually meet Edward and make him yours and live happily ever after as the love of a vampires life. That's my job.
P.S. I make sure that I know where Robert Pattinson is at all times. This week he is in L.A. Soon enough he'll be in Vancouver filming. I will be close by with a camera and a vial of my own blood (as a gift to him, of course). Angelina style.

Was it really worth it?

Was she everything that you were looking for

To feel like a man?

I hope you know that you can’t come back

Cause all we had is broken like Shattered Glass.



You’re gonna see me in your dreams tonight

My face is gonna haunt you all the time

I promise that you gon’ want me back

When your world falls apart like shattered glass

Come on! Brilliance! Where was this song 5 years ago?!! Don't you wanna go through this JUST TO DEDICATE THIS SONG TO SOMEONE?? Fine, me neither, but it would be super cool.

Ok, last shameless plug, and this one is for those of you who like GOOD music, and by that I mean it's far from Britney. It's actual brilliance and this woman is amazing (like nachos) and talented and beautiful and I saw her live this year and wanted to go have a beer with her after and have her sing me to sleep (as I laid on the bed, she on the floor). Her name is Rachel Yamagata. Don't let the name hold you back. A-mazing. "Sunday Afternoon" is my new fav song right now. She's like Tori Amos sounding, except you don't have to try to figure out what the fuck her lyrics could possibly mean. She has real songs and real stories and if you've ever been hurt, you'll totally relate to her like Whoa. I would follow her around the country if I were rich and slightly tapped.

I would like to thank Jenna W-H for letting me rip a fence down yesterday and use my muscles and tools, and for the juicy and delicious chicken sandwich she rewarded me with. It was a fun end to my weekend alone. Smashing things just makes you feel alive and necessary and a little dangerous. Now I know why rockstars tear hotel rooms to shit. Any aggression I had is now gone, and left to the wood panels I hacked away at and then threw to the wayside. Like an old, worthless lover. Except I've never hit a lover with a crowbar. Yet.
(disturbing?)

Wow, I've been sitting here an hour tick tick ticking away at the keyboard and I feel I've accomplished nothing. Maybe I'll start a monthly newsletter to catch everyone (the three of you who care) up on the comings and goings of my life out here on the West Coast.
Would you read it? (circle yes or no)

I must go now, for the sole purpose of vomiting again. TMI, I know, but I need someone to suffer with. Misery loves company, after all. And stomach bile especially loves others to be present when it rears its ugly yellow head.