Maybe if it's about nothing its about something...

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

I have gotten the threatening emails. Ive received the dead animal carcasses in the mail. Ive beefed up on my apartment's security. They want another blog, and they wont let me rest until they get one. ("They" refers to my mom, as well as a random person or two from home who has a day job with a computer and gets bored at lunch and cant access porn, therefore needing my blog to entertain them.) So, here it is folks, nothing to say, nothing to report, nothing special. Just empty words on an empty page from an empty being (hahaha that last part was a joke. A dark and depressing joke).
Im here at my "job", a word I use loosely because we are still waiting for a contact from the Gov't, the state, the county, and weve been waitin a while. Someday I will be able to tell you how exciting and fulfilling this position is; until then, Ill only be able to report further on my non-happenings of everyday life, and, of course, celebrity gossip.
You know how I said that getting coffee in Seattle is equivalent to the costliness of having to remortgage your home to pay for a long stay in the hospital after a tragic accident? Well, yesterday the Lord above (and if not him, the Lord of Espresso) answered my financial prayers and accidently made the "barista" (definiton: one who makes fancy coffee for snotty people) mess up on my order! He called out my drink and I apologetically informed him that that was not what I ordered. That I, unlike anyone he'd ever met in his life, had ordered a plain iced coffee, black, with only a hint of flavoring. He was truly confused, but very understanding. He pulled the mess-up off the counter and made me the correct beverage. Then, the miracle: he asked "Hey, do you want the mess-up? You can offer it, or throw it, at a homeless person". Ignoring the insensitive (and hil-arious) homeless guy comment, I said "Yeah, sure" trying desperately not to show my sheer excitement! So, I waltzed (as, you know, I can now do) out of there with a coffee in each hand and a big grin on my face. Then I quickly wiped the grin off; you get ejected from the building for being too happy in a Seattle Starbucks...
Made banana bread last night. Youre all missing it...
I am so very interested in American Idol, really I am, but its too long of a process now. Does anyone else feel like weve been watching since last Fall and just finally coming to the ever-popular Top 24? I had to skip out on it last night, only flipping occasionally back, because Im really into Biggest Loser. I feel like Ill miss too much if I dont watch it, and A.I. will be around for a loooonnnggg time, if it keeps going the way it has been. I saw a couple male performances, but its not really great til theres less people and we know a little more about each one. (Who am I kidding, its not great until one of the voted off girls has a sex tape on the net the next morning and one of the voted off guys has a possession or domestic violence charge against him the following week.) Thats what Im talkin 'bout!
Donia's fam was here last week and what a time we had! Saw lots of Seattle, but not like you'd think. Space Needle? No. Underground city tour? Nope. Karaoke bars? Yes Yes Yes!!! We had so much fun! Wednesday we went to a karaoke bar called "Ozzies". Fun place, but it was dead. Also, the karaoke "DJ" was a whore off the street, which was weird. No, seriously, she had a tight little black mini number on, spike heels, and those nylons with the line up the back, to make her look more sexy/slutty. Her hair was long and straggly past her butt, and seeing as Im the only one who actually saw her face, I can say it was kinda like one of the witches from the Wizard of Oz. Sorry, no, im mistaken, only the witches from the East or West, not Glenda. Anyway, we had a great meal, her dad sang a couple songs and we left. Fast forward to Friday (well get back to V-day), we try out karaoke at Sunset Bowl. Thats right, Bowl, as in Bowling alley, Bowlarama, Bowl til you drop, Bowl yourself into the trailor park. That bar was far too small and cramped, so we all had a drink and decided to stick with an ole fav...ok, a fav wed just found 48 hours earlier. It was back to Ozzies! There, we walked into a bar that apparently had quite a tragedy happen right before our arrival. I am referring to the frat and sorority houses that must have thrown up in there. Or, they may have all burned down, forcing their refugees to seek solace in a bar called Ozzies. Either way, at least we were the right age to be there. It was loud, rowdy, full of fun, and just the place we were seeking. Donia's dad was awesome and sang a couple songs. At one point he asked me what he should sing, and I had to throw out the oldie but goodie "Sweet Caroline". Having gone to college myself not too far back, I know that when youve got a room full of drunk twenty-somethings, that song gets the party started (sorry P!nk). And sure enough, my prediction was right. People were singing, dancing, screaming in delight. Go Donn! Another cool thing that I envy is the networking her brother and his friend were able to do while having a cigarette with a huge scray bouncer named "Dana" on Wednesday night. They bonded because they were all from New England. Well, wouldntcha know...Dana saw us in the long ass line Friday night and let us cut everyone! They gave daps to each other and we were in. Needless to say, the line was not happy with us...Leave it to Gino and Mike to have "connections" in Seattle after 3 days. But we all looked damn cool going in VIP...
Needless to say, the next day was rough. 6 hungover people. 2 chihuahuas. One apartment. No good. So, we ventured out for a bit to Pike Place Market, then it was a quiet night in for everyone. The next day, we put them in a 1986 beige Dodge Caravan and sent them off to the airport. It takes a lot out of you to entertain guests for a whole week. Gladly, we spent all of Sunday reading the paper, getting donuts for breakfast (yum!) and sleeping off the pure exhaustion of our week's fun.
Thursday was V-Day, and even though everyone said they could fend for themselves if we wanted to go out, we decided to stay in and spend it with them. It was a night of poker where, of course, I won. We had chocolates at my work, and there was an exchanging of cards, so it was celebrated just as I believe it should be...low-key and cheap:)
Monday was the first 3 day weekend I think Ive ever had! It was great! Another well-deserved lazy day of eating sushi (rather, she ate sushi; I ate cooked foods such as chicken and rice) and taking a walk to a famous park here in Seattle, Gasworks park. It was really pretty, you could see the water. There were all sorts of people out, with their loved ones, their dogs, their kids. Very relaxing. One thing that kept me uneasy and on my toes, though, was that we were in the neighborhood of the one and only DAVE MATTHEWS! Yes, thats right, Ive seen him 16 times in concert and have loved him for 10 years and then the one place we decide to randomly move to is the new home of Dave and his family! I couldnt believe it when I heard it. Now, I havent found his house yet, but trust me Ive looked it up. I know the neighborhood and general vicinity its in, but not exactly where yet. I kinda heard and read and assumed for myself that no one around here stalks him like they do one Miss Britney Spears, so if I did see him I didnt want to be one of "those girls", but, for the love of God its Dave! Ive concluded I should not do any sort of searching for him and just let him be. What would I say, anyway, without looking stupid and typical? "I love you and your music". "You are amazing" "Ive paid you lots of money over the years with my purchases of concert tickets". "Ill babysit your kids if you need". "Ill walk your dog even though I hate bulldogs". "It kinda sounds like you say my name in Crush, but you dont, but I like to pretend you do". I think its safest for all parties for me to just act like I dont know hes here. Its depressing, and hard to resist stalking him, but its safest. You never know though:
"Girl Attacks Peaceful Rocker in Coffee Shop" ...news at 11
What do you get when you cross a bored worker with a computer and too much time?
A blog