Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Uppers, Downers, and Oscars Galore!

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Blog 63:

The title of this blog may be misleading. I love being heavily medicated as much as the next guy, but its not at all what I refer to (this time). Since I left Rhody i havent been sick. Not for a day. Living out of the car, seedy hotel rooms, scorching weather in Vegas and dreary wether here, nothing got me ill. Until, of course, now. My boss was sick two weeks ago, but seeingas we have a totally plutonic relationship (like any normal boss/employer, except maybe a choice few from APPLEBEES!) I figured her sickness would not catch me. Then, Donia was sick. Great, by the time she realized her throat hurt, well, too late. We cough and sneeze all over each other at all times, cute eh?, so I knew I was doomed. Not until after my throat was scratching like newborn kitten did I remember Id bought Airborne. OOPS. Never good with the whole sick thing. So now Im ridin it out. The voice is a little raspy/cute, though, so Im really dealing well with it.

Speaking of sick, I was thinking about those people, we all know at least one, who are always 1-upping you with their sicknesses. 1-uppers are my least favorite humans. You know who Im talking about, those people who have to 1-up you with everything. You have a happy story, they have a better one. You have a depressing tale, they have a more tragic one. You got a puppy, they own 5 g..horses all the sudden. You have a cold, theyre dying of some made-up illness. Theyre always trying to outdo you, and you know this because as youre telling your story you can see them thinking about their better story, and it usually begins immediately fter your story. If they dont cut you off. Theres also those people who are just always sick. "How are you?" Sick, so sick, sick for weeks, probably almost dying". "Oh, I have the flu, nothing big, doing ok". "Oh no, mines serious. Killer flu. Im pretty much never healthy, nor will I be healthy again". "Nice talkin to ya". (exit quickly)

Then theres the people who I second dont like, but are much more bearable indeed. They are those people who just do dumb shit. For no reason, and theyre not really stupid, they just always end up doing stupid things so carelessly. Though I am not perfect, I most definitely have faults, I am not one of these people. Therefore, I must blame the occurance last weekend on my sickness. (Just let me have that, will ya!?) Or maybe it was drunkedness, I cant really remember. When you drink morning noon and night, it all runs together (heehee...errr...joke?) I woke up Saturday morning and Donia said she had a present for me. Sweet! Saturday presents, whats better than that? Then she follows it up with, "Well, you left it for yourself, so I left it for you". Ugh. What a fun present this is gonna be...I turn the corner of the kitchen and I see a huge brown puddle on the floor. I approach it a little closer and see that its thick, its chocolate, it gooey. Fuck. Its all over the top of the fridge, its all down the side of the fridge, and of course, the floor. So heres the story: the night before we had some drinks. Do with that what you will. Then I just had this urge to make cupcakes. To my surprise, the cupcakes came out phenominally, but there were 24 of them, so I decided to freeze half. Our freezer is full of so much shit, seeing as Donia McFrugal buys enough food for months in advance. If theres a storm, or a disaster, or any end-of-the-world shit going on, we will be fed. And fat. Anywho, I rearranged the freezer to the best of my abilities, first taking things out, then putting things back more orderly. *Ahem*-Almost everything went back, I guess you could say. I apparently put the ice cream, the fi..ull half gallon, on top of the fridge. And left it there. All night. (No wonder everything fit back in so well!) So, I was punished, made to clean up my mess. Oh, but to add to the frustration and stupidity, Nash and Gus had a mighty tasty breakfast that morning, chocolate chips, chocolate, and marshmallow all over the floor. Then Gus threw it all up. 4 times. In various areas of the apartment. Mommy made baby sick :( If he was a human baby and that was poison, Id be charged with neglect! (Though I dont know why Id have poison in the freezer, and I dont know why I wouldnt pay more mind to it thawing on top of the fridge. I needed an analogy, sorry). And then, the thrid worst people to me are those who tell you to do something and then complain its not done exactly to their liking...THEN CLEAN IT YOUR DAMN SELF! Sorry I got loud...

Did anyone watch the Oscars? Yeah, neither did the rest of the country, dont worry. Lowest Oscars ina while, down 21% from last year. ("How does she know these stats!?" "Her job, remember, surfing the web aimlessly?" "Oh Yeah") I, of course, the freak I am about awards and celebrities, did tune in. All 3.5 hours. John Stewart was hilarious. The majority of winners were from outside of the US. Good for them. What does that say about us. We dont need a writers strike again, thats for sure. Were all whining about money meanwhile the rest of the world is stealing our little gold statues right out from under us. Stupid Americans (Im pretty sure anytime someone went up and accepted their award and spoke another language, thats what they were saying). The highlight of the night for me was when Juno finally won something! Not movie or actress or supporting, but screenplay. Thats a pretty good one. So, gothic ex-stripper queen Diablo Cody goes up and accepts her award. She is souped! Shes honored! Shes awesome, and trashy, and great! Heres what went on at this moment:

Donia: "How much you wanna bet shes not wearing Versace?"

Leah: "Or underwear"

Go Diablo! Youre on my Top Ten if you have an half-dressed depiction of yourself tattooed on your arm and your name is "Devil" in Spanish.

Well, week 4 of the job and yet to meet a right live client. This is gonna suck when I have to actually work at work.

Hey, anyone have any baby news for me yet? Im outta the loop.

Ok, gotta go, Im using someone elses comp and he is forced to sit on the floor. Poor guy, its not even a clean floor. Oh well, til then...


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